Musing – Page 4 – Another Day at the Point

House of Cards

Summer’s here! I love summer!

Last year, we played monopoly all summer long! Playing for a few hours a day & then sliding the board back under the bed before mom came home. This went on for days – even weeks at a time. We would finish one game and then start all over again.

If was fun playing, because it kept us entertained but mostly because we got away with something – we got away by hiding this from mom & dad. Shortly before they got home we would hide the game & then complete our chores.

Getting away with something gave us a new kind of freedom. A freedom I’ve never known before.

Sure enough Daniel & I would have our room cleaned, our beds made and the toys put away.

This summer we started a different game. I don’t know how we started it but by 12noon we had drawn on the wood floor, in chalk, a roadway for our toy cars. It was pretty elaborate with exit ramps and even bridges and tunnels. It started in the kitchen, stretched across the dining room and into the living room.

We even had several boroughs of New York streets with highways to connect them all.

We drew, till our hearts content, of highways and roadways. Of freeways that flow past the confines of this city.

We drew of country roads where dreams peacefully meander under the cover of tall oaks. We drew of byways and crossroads that serve as arteries. Filling our hearts with the blood of adventure. Our minds travel freely and dream of the road trips we will one day make.

Every bit of our imagination and creativity was spread out across the wood floor of our home. Scribbled and measured as if we had engineered where we were going.

Our wings spreading over these byways like eagles souring high above the scenery. Free to go anywhere and free to dream of anything!

We used my collection of baseball cards to make the bridge and tunnels. We would play for a few hours & then the cleanup would start. Mop the floor to get rid of the chalk lines; put the toys away and complete our chores in time for mom & dad to get home. All to allow the dreaming to flow freely over again the next day.

Day after day, we have fun! And day after day, we are free to imagine anything we want. The world is ours and we are free to create it as our own.

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I Know We Can Make It

I am no longer in my room upstairs. I have moved down to the basement into my brothers area. It is by choice since I am having a hard time dealing with the sounds of the gang fights.
Being down here is going to take some getting used to. There is Karate stuff all over the walls. Nunchucks, uniforms, ninja stars.

“Daniel, what are those ninja stars for?” I ask him.

“they are called Shurikens, They are for throwing at your enemy! You never know when you have to protect yourself.”

Wow! they look pretty dangerous. I have a feeling I know what he needs to protect himself from.

“Forget that! pass me my shirt, I need to iron it.”

I reach over for his shirt on the bed and hand it to him. I forgot about the ninja stars & just kept checking out this place. There are no windows down here. Just some weight equipment on the floor & Disco music spinning on the turntable. Tonight, my brother is getting ready to head out to the Disco. Ahh! over there, up agaist the wall is my new bed! That’s where I can put my stuff.

Over in the bathroom, my brother continues getting ready. He is blow drying his hair, applying some cologne & ironing his bell bottom pants. Boy! I am not a fan of disco & that music is blasting!

“We can make it, if we try
we can make it, touch the sky
we can make it, if we try
we can make it, get on high”

As I lay down on my bed, I close my eyes and just imagine Donna Summer’s words just running thru my head. (MP3)

For some reason the lyrics seem to have a calming effect on me.

Suddenly I get the feeling that just by being down here, things will be better. Being with my brother & seeing his space, I feel that yes, we can make it…

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Finding the Way Home

“I can always find my way home from here…”

This has always been how I see my sister Nancy. She is a strong willed and independent person. No matter what life throws at her she will always find h-e-r way. My mother and father have always mistaken her uniqueness & independence for misbehaviour & rebellion. I never saw Nancy that way.

One day, when we were very young, Nancy took my mother’s shearing scissors and cut up a dress my mother had just finished making for a client. Nancy was only maybe 3-4 yrs old, but my mother was very upset and only saw this as her being rebellious.

But the part that I don’t think my mother understood was that Nancy was just playing the role of a seamstress. She was imitating mom – and in doing so, she was ‘making’ a dress. Also what I saw was that Nancy is crying out for mom’s attention. My mother is very focused and driven to excel. She works her fingers to the bone & in doing that, she does not have time to dwell on silly sentiments nor on childish needs.

Don’t get me wrong! I am not saying my mother was mean or neglected us, but she did the best she could in raising 5 kids. She earned our daily bread, putting clothes on our backs & providing a new life for us. It is just that she sacrificed her own in doing that for us.

She sacrificed her feelings, her needs and desires – all for us to have ours fulfilled.

So the other day Nancy played hooky from school. She took off to Coney Island with a couple of her older friends. Mom was worried for her because she did not arrive at the usual time. She was so upset – no mad! – so mad that she needed to teach Nancy a lesson. Teach her a lesson & scare the rebelliousness right out of her!

Standing at The 41st Precinct police station over on Longwood Ave, we are waiting to see the Sargent. Mom has arranged with a police friend of hers, to have Nancy held in an interrogation room. The police office interrogated her “where did you go? why did you play hooky?” Nancy was scared and very disoriented. Even frightened when the officer told her that she may be put in jail for what she did.

A few hours later she was released to mom’s custody with the acknowledgement that she will never play hooky again. The trick worked, worked too well, because after this day Nancy changed. She seemed different somehow.

To me, Nancy was always a soul searching for herself. Searching outside of herself for a definition of who she can become. As a matter of fact, Nancy went to Fashion Institute of Technology in New York to learn to design dresses of all things… Nancy is a good kid. Very loving, very inquisitive and vulnerable.

I know she will find herself & I know she will one day realize that it has always been her superpower to find her way home.

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