Not Your Usual Kind of Christmas

My mother is a strong, focused lady and nothing will stop her in reaching her goals. In her younger days she worked her fingers-to-the-bone to be successful. She got her degree and even had her own business. She was so focused and so motivated.

She had this dream to get the whole family to the United States and people in her town did not understand why she wanted to leave. They would make fun of her and even call her names.

When we got here, she remained focused. Still worked her fingers-to-the-bone so time to make friends was not a top priority. Looking back, I can see that her tough character & her focus were a way to protect herself from people’s opinions.

But now that we are settling into our new house, it looks like she is ready to try again. She has made friends with a few ladies at church. But again, her tough coat has been misunderstood and there are a few ladies who do not get her level of focus or her motivation.

Yesterday she had an argument with the wife of a deacon. Mom had been asking around if any of the ladies needed a seamstress to make dresses for Christmas. My mother explained “I’m starting a new business…” and the deacon’s wife interrupted her.

“Why do you consider yourself to be better then the rest of us?” She complained to my mother.

“Isn’t a job at a factory good enough for you?”

But I know a ‘job’ is not enough for my mother. Needless to say mom butt heads with this lady and several other ladies from the church group.

But mom just lets this go…

A few weeks back, this lady was doing a collection of unwanted clothes for the poor & needy. My father committed himself to donate clothes. Over the weeks leading up to Christmas, we had donated several bags of clothes, that we did not use anymore.

At the Wednesday service before Christmas, the ladies’ church group made one last request for more unwanted clothes. “There is a desperate need for these items…” was the last plea. Nobody raised their hands, and at the last minute my father raised his. Once again, he committed the whole family.

Now for Saturday service, we dragged a big bag of clothes with us on the train. We carried it for the 1hr commute to the Adventist Church. There my father handed the bag over to this lady. Danny gave up a green hooded, parka. It’s only problem was that it was old & had holes in the pockets. I gave up my US Navy blue Pea coat. It only had a small tear in the elbow and mom gave up a nice brown coat with a white fur collar. Even though the fur was a little torn and dirty, she liked it. begrudgingly she too gave it up for those more needy…

All because my dad said “the poor do not have clothes to keep them warm this winter and you have several!”

Saturday church service was beautiful and the Christmas theme left us feeling that giving up our items for the benefit of others was a good idea.

It is what a “good Christian” should do – right?
But now walking out of Saturday service, we see a difference in the floor mats the church is using. Stretched out on the floor were my mom’s fur-collar coat; my blue jacket & Danny’s parka there on the floor for people to wipe their feet.

This cut deep, like a knife, straight thru my mother’s heart. She had allowed herself to be vulnerable and allow people in. But now this lady had taken a direct hit at mom. I don’t know why, envy, anger, jealousy…

But again my mother lets this go and just moves on – like always. This time the pain was a little deeper.

A neighbor saw us walking & offered us a ride home. Mom was quiet all the way home and nobody else dare break the silence. All we could do was listen to Delta Dawn playing on the radio. I guess mom being vulnerable is now like a faded rose from days gone by…

When we got home, mom went straight up to her room. I hope we can find a way to cheer her up before Christmas.

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Guilty By Association

Crumb-esque souped up beetle Daniel and I are working on his VW Super Beetle. This car is Souped up and really fast looking.

The rear wheels are wide 60′s racing slicks covered with fender flares that makes the back of the car look super cool! The car has a drastic lean towards the front because of the size of the rear wheels.

Definitely not your usual ’72 Super Beetle. The front wheels are low profile 70′s and they also stand out beyond the edge of the fenders.

Today we are replacing his stereo. It isn’t working well and we are going to replace it with a more powerful system. We take apart the housing to get to the radio. It snaps out but the radio is secured with Flathead screws and we don’t have a screwdriver for it.

The only tools we have are the few that Tio Amable has given Daniel over the years and a few that he has gotten on his own. He is proud of his toolbox, so much so that he won’t let me go near them.

But today is different. “Pass me the screwdriver!” he asks. “there isn’t one in here.” I reply. “Well go inside and get a butter knife we can use that as a Flathead screwdriver.” Sure enough this works! we replace the stereo and put in some nice speakers on the doors.

Super Beetle He was so proud of his Super Beetle and how great the stereo sounded.

So of course we had to show it off! We immediately cleaned up, put the tools away and threw out the trash. I was so excited to go for my first ride in his Bug that I did not want to miss not even a second of it. I tossed the knife on to the rear floorboard and put the floormats back in place – away we went.

Not even 10 minutes into our ride do we attract attention. But not the kind we wanted. This one is the pain-in-the-ass Sargent that has always had something against us. The red lights from his cruiser’s strobe spins around. This one is not like a beacon in the middle of the darkness here to protect us, but as a disruptive flash breaking up the beauty of the sun setting.

“Driver’s License and registration please.” The office asked. My brother complies without saying a word. “Where is your friend tonite?” the officer questions.

“Who are you referring to officer?”

“You know who! That troublemaker you hang out with.” Now the questioning turns into an interrogation. “What kind of trouble are you hoodlums up to tonite?”

“Nothing officer, just cruising around…”

“Don’t give me that shit! You’re sure you were not involved in something?” His tone getting really nasty and stern now. “Step out of the car – NOW!” He yells!

“What’s going on officer?” My brother asks. “What are you guys doing with a knife in the car?”

“We don’t have a knife!” My brother replies, not knowing that I had tossed it back into the car behind his seat. Oh shit! he is going to be pissed! I had no idea that butter knife could get us in trouble…

“Then what is that weapon doing there on the floor?” The officer insisted. My brother turns around and looks. “Oh! we were striping wires to redo the speakers, officer. That’s only a butter knife! We forgot to put it away after working on the car. It can’t hurt anyone – not even slice a tomato!” He replied nervously.

“Don’t get nasty with me!” The officer yelled as he grabbed my brother.

He spun him around and yelled “Spread ‘em on the car!” Holy shit this is getting way too crazy. We have not done anything wrong. Since he associates us with Joe, then we are also suspects in his eyes.

“Officer! What are you doing…” I yelled.

“Shut up kid! Keep your butt on that seat! I don’t want to see you move one inch!” And with that the officer slammed the driver’s side door shut!

I can hear the officer yelling and the walki-talki squealing! “Dispatch, dispatch! Have there been any robberies tonite?” They go back and forth with code-this and code-that. Frustrated the officer calls out “Anything involving a knife?” “Negative!” replies the dispatcher on the walki-talki.

“You are lucky punk! You get off free tonite. Don’t let me catch you with that punk, Joe!”

Boy! That really scared the shit out of me. He was looking for any reason to drag us to jail. I’ve never been that close to being arrested.

As we drove off, Daniel watched every step he made. He drove under the speed limit, used his turn signal at every turn. Just from an association to a neighbor, we are now considered, and looked at, as hoodlums.

From that point forward, I looked over my shoulder – not even the cops are our friends.

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Boogie Nights

Boogie Nights Something weird happened today and I’m not sure how to even talk about it. It feels like a nightmare that I cannot shake. Every day after school we spend the afternoon outside playing. Playing ball, playing tag, chasing one another and even riding our bikes.

You know kids in the neighborhood doing what kids are supposed to do – being innocent and having fun!

That is… all kids with the exception of little Peter. He is only 4 maybe 6 yrs old and his mom is really protective over him. The only times I see him out is when his mother takes a nap. He sneaks out of the house, not to play with us but to go to the gray house at the corner of Warren and Salem.

He skips and hops his way over to that house.

The gray house is the home of an older couple with no kids. The lady is quiet and goes to work six days a week. The man is gray-haired and seems to have retired early. Because he tends to the garden everyday and is always outside in his yard.

As we walk home from school, he greets us and offer us candy thru the bushes. My father is friends with this guy, but I find him to be very strange. I don’t know why but I am freaked out by him.

But Peter seems to like him enough to go to his house every week. He goes there by himself at least once a week and spends over an hour there.

One day I asked him “what do you do at his house all that time?” He replied, “We play games and eat candy.” But he would look away and not go into detail of what games they play together alone.

One day when he came out crying I asked him what happened. This time he did say that they danced to music and watched a movie that he did not like. The movie made him cry.

Yesterday my dad wanted to go visit the people in the gray house and he says that I have to go with him.

“No!” I replied “I’m not going!” But my dad insisted and we went anyway. My dad was going there to teach him the bible and wanted me to learn how to do it.

The house was dark. The furniture was wooden, stained dark brown, with a brown tweed fabric that even thought it was in good shape, always looked dirty. The walls were wood-panelled in a honey-colored stain. The grain was deep but looked worn from years of usage. The lighting was very dim with only table lamps lighting the immediate area.

I never understood why someone would choose to live in such darkness.

Anyway I asked my dad if I could leave. Finally after nagging him enough, he let me go. I rushed out the door so quickly. Later on my dad catches up to me and asks me “what happened back there?”

I finally broke down and told my dad what I felt. “I don’t like going to that house dad. Peter tells me that he does some weird things, dad! They play alone together and Peter sometimes comes out of that house crying.” My dad replied “What are you talking about?” He continued with “They are nice people, how do you know that Peter is telling the truth. You have to be sure of what you are saying before you judge anyone! You have to love thy neighbors no matter what you opinion of them.”

This is not unusual, dad never takes what I say seriously anyway. I wish I had someone to talk to, but my dad just won’t listen.

So today, I walked home alone and sure enough he was there working in his yard. He stops me by offering me my most favorite candy – a Three Musketeer bar. The words “love thy neighbor” ring in my head and I choose to give up my suspensions of him and accept him for who he is.

It was a mini bar and he said he had plenty more inside. We talked for a bit and he says “come inside & I will give you more Three Musketeers.”

The words “love thy neighbor” ring again so I accept his invitation and went inside.

No judgement!

Inside we played games and ate candy just like Peter said! Then about 45 minutes of playing he says…

“I have a game…

bet you’ve never played it!

Its fun! I promise.

You’re gonna love it!”

“Can I teach it to you?”

He gets serious and says “the game is a secret though! It’s a big kids game – I’m not sure if you’re big enough to play this game…”

“Of course I am!” I insist “let me play!”

I should have notice something was off when he made me promise I wouldn’t tell anyone.

Anyway he gets off the floor puts on a record – I still remember it – it was Boogie Nights by Heatwave. I remember it well! It is my favorite song. It used to be, that is until now. He then comes over and sits right next to me on the sofa.

Instantly things start to feel weird. He speaks softly and moves in slowly now. Almost as if he is deliverate trying to avoid scaring me. He puts his hand, slowly, on my knee and tells me to relax. Now I am really shaking.

Then he says: “Open up your pants and …”

Before he could finish his sentence I was off that sofa and out the door! Sorry, I cannot love this neighbor… I knew what he wanted and I was not going to play those games.

But poor Peter! I just realized that he has played that game before and he is keeping that secret.

I now know why Peter’s attitude had change lately. He did not skip back & forth anymore. He walks there with his head down and his shoulder seem to just droop – like he has lost his spark.

I know he has a hard life at home, with his dad never being home & his mom being controlling. I’m sure he does not have anyone to talk to – even if they did listen – I’m not sure they would hear the secret he’s keeping.

This is enough to stress anybody out! Deep down inside, I know that Peter has changed from the many times he’s gone into the darkness of that gray house.

I know that the one and only time was enough for me. It left a lasting impression on me. Like a nightmare, it lingers in the shadows of secrecy. It is one thing that even though I want to forget, I have not been able to do.

I wonder if Peter has been able to forget.

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