Boogie Nights

Boogie Nights Something weird happened today and I’m not sure how to even talk about it. It feels like a nightmare that I cannot shake. Every day after school we spend the afternoon outside playing. Playing ball, playing tag, chasing one another and even riding our bikes.

You know kids in the neighborhood doing what kids are supposed to do – being innocent and having fun!

That is… all kids with the exception of little Peter. He is only 4 maybe 6 yrs old and his mom is really protective over him. The only times I see him out is when his mother takes a nap. He sneaks out of the house, not to play with us but to go to the gray house at the corner of Warren and Salem.

He skips and hops his way over to that house.

The gray house is the home of an older couple with no kids. The lady is quiet and goes to work six days a week. The man is gray-haired and seems to have retired early. Because he tends to the garden everyday and is always outside in his yard.

As we walk home from school, he greets us and offer us candy thru the bushes. My father is friends with this guy, but I find him to be very strange. I don’t know why but I am freaked out by him.

But Peter seems to like him enough to go to his house every week. He goes there by himself at least once a week and spends over an hour there.

One day I asked him “what do you do at his house all that time?” He replied, “We play games and eat candy.” But he would look away and not go into detail of what games they play together alone.

One day when he came out crying I asked him what happened. This time he did say that they danced to music and watched a movie that he did not like. The movie made him cry.

Yesterday my dad wanted to go visit the people in the gray house and he says that I have to go with him.

“No!” I replied “I’m not going!” But my dad insisted and we went anyway. My dad was going there to teach him the bible and wanted me to learn how to do it.

The house was dark. The furniture was wooden, stained dark brown, with a brown tweed fabric that even thought it was in good shape, always looked dirty. The walls were wood-panelled in a honey-colored stain. The grain was deep but looked worn from years of usage. The lighting was very dim with only table lamps lighting the immediate area.

I never understood why someone would choose to live in such darkness.

Anyway I asked my dad if I could leave. Finally after nagging him enough, he let me go. I rushed out the door so quickly. Later on my dad catches up to me and asks me “what happened back there?”

I finally broke down and told my dad what I felt. “I don’t like going to that house dad. Peter tells me that he does some weird things, dad! They play alone together and Peter sometimes comes out of that house crying.” My dad replied “What are you talking about?” He continued with “They are nice people, how do you know that Peter is telling the truth. You have to be sure of what you are saying before you judge anyone! You have to love thy neighbors no matter what you opinion of them.”

This is not unusual, dad never takes what I say seriously anyway. I wish I had someone to talk to, but my dad just won’t listen.

So today, I walked home alone and sure enough he was there working in his yard. He stops me by offering me my most favorite candy – a Three Musketeer bar. The words “love thy neighbor” ring in my head and I choose to give up my suspensions of him and accept him for who he is.

It was a mini bar and he said he had plenty more inside. We talked for a bit and he says “come inside & I will give you more Three Musketeers.”

The words “love thy neighbor” ring again so I accept his invitation and went inside.

No judgement!

Inside we played games and ate candy just like Peter said! Then about 45 minutes of playing he says…

“I have a game…

bet you’ve never played it!

Its fun! I promise.

You’re gonna love it!”

“Can I teach it to you?”

He gets serious and says “the game is a secret though! It’s a big kids game – I’m not sure if you’re big enough to play this game…”

“Of course I am!” I insist “let me play!”

I should have notice something was off when he made me promise I wouldn’t tell anyone.

Anyway he gets off the floor puts on a record – I still remember it – it was Boogie Nights by Heatwave. I remember it well! It is my favorite song. It used to be, that is until now. He then comes over and sits right next to me on the sofa.

Instantly things start to feel weird. He speaks softly and moves in slowly now. Almost as if he is deliverate trying to avoid scaring me. He puts his hand, slowly, on my knee and tells me to relax. Now I am really shaking.

Then he says: “Open up your pants and …”

Before he could finish his sentence I was off that sofa and out the door! Sorry, I cannot love this neighbor… I knew what he wanted and I was not going to play those games.

But poor Peter! I just realized that he has played that game before and he is keeping that secret.

I now know why Peter’s attitude had change lately. He did not skip back & forth anymore. He walks there with his head down and his shoulder seem to just droop – like he has lost his spark.

I know he has a hard life at home, with his dad never being home & his mom being controlling. I’m sure he does not have anyone to talk to – even if they did listen – I’m not sure they would hear the secret he’s keeping.

This is enough to stress anybody out! Deep down inside, I know that Peter has changed from the many times he’s gone into the darkness of that gray house.

I know that the one and only time was enough for me. It left a lasting impression on me. Like a nightmare, it lingers in the shadows of secrecy. It is one thing that even though I want to forget, I have not been able to do.

I wonder if Peter has been able to forget.

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House of Cards

Summer’s here! I love summer!

Last year, we played monopoly all summer long! Playing for a few hours a day & then sliding the board back under the bed before mom came home. This went on for days – even weeks at a time. We would finish one game and then start all over again.

If was fun playing, because it kept us entertained but mostly because we got away with something – we got away by hiding this from mom & dad. Shortly before they got home we would hide the game & then complete our chores.
highway in our minds
Getting away with something gave us a new kind of freedom. A freedom I’ve never known before.

Sure enough Daniel & I would have our room cleaned, our beds made and the toys put away.

This summer we started a different game. I don’t know how we started it but by 12noon we had drawn on the wood floor, in chalk, a roadway for our toy cars. It was pretty elaborate with exit ramps and even bridges and tunnels. It started in the kitchen, stretched across the dining room and into the living room.

We even had several boroughs of New York streets with highways to connect them all.

We drew, till our hearts content, of highways and roadways. Of freeways that flow past the confines of this city.

We drew of country roads where dreams peacefully meander under the cover of tall oaks. We drew of byways and crossroads that serve as arteries. Filling our hearts with the blood of adventure. Our minds travel freely and dream of the road trips we will one day make.

Every bit of our imagination and creativity was spread out across the wood floor of our home. Scribbled and measured as if we had engineered where we were going.

Our wings spreading over these byways like eagles souring high above the scenery. Free to go anywhere and free to dream of anything!

We used my collection of baseball cards to make the bridge and tunnels. We would play for a few hours & then the cleanup would start. Mop the floor to get rid of the chalk lines; put the toys away and complete our chores in time for mom & dad to get home. All to allow the dreaming to flow freely over again the next day.

Day after day, we have fun! And day after day, we are free to imagine anything we want. The world is ours and we are free to create it as our own.

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I Know We Can Make It

I am no longer in my room upstairs. I have moved down to the basement into my brothers area. It is by choice since I am having a hard time dealing with the sounds of the gang fights.
havok star - Ninja ToolsBeing down here is going to take some getting used to. There is Karate stuff all over the walls. Nunchucks, uniforms, ninja stars.

“Daniel, what are those ninja stars for?” I ask him. “they are called Shurikens, They are for throwing at your enemy! You never know when you have to protect yourself.”

Wow! they look pretty dangerous. I have a feeling I know what he needs to protect himself from.

“Forget that! pass me my shirt, I need to iron it.” I reach over for his shirt on the bed and hand it to him. I forgot about the ninja stars & just kept checking out this place. There are no windows down here. Just some weight equipment on the floor & Disco music spinning on the turntable. Tonight, my brother is getting ready to head out to the Disco. Ahh! over there, up agaist the wall is my new bed! That’s where I can put my stuff.

Over in the bathroom, my brother continues getting ready. He is blow drying his hair, applying some cologne & ironing his bell bottom pants. Boy! I am not a fan of disco & that music is blasting!

“We can make it, if we try
we can make it, touch the sky
we can make it, if we try
we can make it, get on high”

As I lay down on my bed, I close my eyes and just imagine Donna Summer’s words just running thru my head. (MP3)

For some reason the lyrics seem to have a calming effect on me.

Suddenly I get the feeling that just by being down here, things will be better. Being with my brother & seeing his space, I feel that yes, we can make it…

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