I Know We Can Make It

I am no longer in my room upstairs. I have moved down to the basement into my brothers area. It is by choice since I am having a hard time dealing with the sounds of the gang fights.
havok star - Ninja ToolsBeing down here is going to take some getting used to. There is Karate stuff all over the walls. Nunchucks, uniforms, ninja stars.

“Daniel, what are those ninja stars for?” I ask him.

“they are called Shurikens, They are for throwing at your enemy! You never know when you have to protect yourself.”

Wow! they look pretty dangerous. I have a feeling I know what he needs to protect himself from.

“Forget that! pass me my shirt, I need to iron it.”

I reach over for his shirt on the bed and hand it to him. I forgot about the ninja stars & just kept checking out this place. There are no windows down here. Just some weight equipment on the floor & Disco music spinning on the turntable. Tonight, my brother is getting ready to head out to the Disco. Ahh! over there, up agaist the wall is my new bed! That’s where I can put my stuff.

Over in the bathroom, my brother continues getting ready. He is blow drying his hair, applying some cologne & ironing his bell bottom pants. Boy! I am not a fan of disco & that music is blasting!

“We can make it, if we try
we can make it, touch the sky
we can make it, if we try
we can make it, get on high”

As I lay down on my bed, I close my eyes and just imagine Donna Summer’s words just running thru my head. (MP3)

For some reason the lyrics seem to have a calming effect on me.

Suddenly I get the feeling that just by being down here, things will be better. Being with my brother & seeing his space, I feel that yes, we can make it…

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The Prodigal Son Returns…

Daniel, my brother…

came home today!

If only for a few days…. He came back with his wife and their child. He had asked mom if she could care for Beth and the baby for a few months.(MP3)

See he was still working a job on the road and it would be a month or two before they are done. He and the boys travelled a lot and Daniel did not want her to be on the road with a baby. Daniel kissed Beth goodbye and promised to come back so they can start their life together as a family.

Beth moved into my room. My mother helps her setup a crib with a blue mobile of sheep and clouds. The crib, lined with blue sheets and white fluffy pillows, was perfect and seemed almost dream-like. Beth spoke only English and my mom only Spanish.

Beth seemed to feel like an outsider, and spends her days waiting for Daniel to return. She didn’t talk much and pretty much, kept to herself spending most of the day in her room with the baby. Mom tries to communicate with her, but the barrier seems to be more then language.

For a few weeks, mom has stood up late at night, knitting a pair of booties and a hat for the baby. With the hopes that Beth and her can have something in common. Beth was very appreciative of mom’s kindness and started warming up.

Over the weeks they started to understand each other’s circumstances and started to accept one another. They even started communicating through some kind of sign language & Spanglish. Beth even came out and started to spent the evenings in the living room watching TV with us.

All I know is that I have a new sister-in-law, a new nephew, little Daniel, and…

my brother is back!

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God it looks like Daniel, must be the clouds in my eyes…

Today Daniel, my brother, moved away!(MP3)

Daniel is 18 years old & I guess he needs to grow on his own. He says that it is time for him to develop his manhood.

If that is what he wants, then I can’t stop him. But I am dreading the moment when he is no longer in our room. I am going to miss him teaching me Karate in the basement. Him insisting “do that last sit-up! hurry up or do you want to stay a sissy all your life.” I’m going to miss the Disco music he used to play as he gets ready to go out dancing on Saturday nights.

I am going to miss the brawls we used to get into. You know all the typical stuff brothers are supposed to do.

He is going off to work with our brother-in-law in the paving business. They are going to travel thru out the U.S. laying brick pavers and making money. He says he wants to experience the freedom of the road.

But last night Daniel and my dad got into a very big argument. The biggest I can ever remember. Deep down inside I get the feeling that he’s leaving not of his own free will.

Daniel, my brother, you are older then me! Do you still feel pain of the scars that won’t heal…”

I am missing you already.

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