This morning I woke up with a strange feeling. I don’t know how to explain it, except that it was a sense of dread. Sounds awful, I know but it’s all consuming! It is coming from somewhere and I have a feeling that something is up today.
Anyway I had a quick breakfast, of milk & cereal, and went off to school feeling like that anyway. The whole day just seemed to drag along. In gym class, we played soccer with the shirts vs. no-shirts. I ended up on the no-shirts team and it was a bit too cool outside. My asthma started acting up and I am having a hard time breathing.
The weather outside was stormy and the gray clouds just loomed overhead like spectators, looking down into the lion’s den at the zoo, waiting for something to happen. Even worse, when I went to take a shower, the hot water refused to flow for me!
What a day!!!!
I’m just glad school is over and I can finally get the school day done now!
So as I drive home, the feeling of dread is still present and getting stronger. It pulsates and causes the veins in my neck to bulge. I don’t know why it’s there nor what is causing it, but it’s just strange.
I guess not strange enough! Because as I turn the corner onto our block, I see exactly what is causing this feeling.
There in the middle of the street, in front of our house, is a growing commotion. The neighbors are standing together as a group frozen in their tracks. The lights are still flashing on the patrol car and the crowd has an expression of disbelief. They’re standing there with their hands clasped over their mouths. All seen to have experienced a horrific moment together. They are sobbing as the rain falls on their shoulders.
Oh God don’t tell me something happened!
As I am parking the car, the girls from upstairs bang on my window. “Open this window!” they scream. “Dammit open it now!”
“What’s going on?” I ask.
“Baby Daniel got sick. He was found in the crib and he was not breathing! His little face was blue!” they explained loudly. “Come with us, we will drive you to the hospital!”
“Wait!” I shouted “I haven’t finished parking the car!”
“Dammit, don’t worry about the car! I’ll get my dad to park it! We have to go now!” They shout as they drag me towards their car.
I leave the keys in the car. The door open and the engine running. My lunchbox is open on the front seat and I think I spilled my Coke on the rug from all this commotion. I don’t know why, but I am not even a little worried.
“He’s going to be alright!” I reassure the girls. “Don’t panic. Everything will be OK, You’ll see.”
Looking back, I must have been out of it, since I was not worrying. But as I look at the speedometer, I noticed that she is driving over 50mph on the city streets. Now I am starting to worry and even a little scared!
They pull up to the front door of the Perth Amboy General Hospital’s Emergency Room and the electric doors slide open. We climb out of the car clumsily and almost fell out even before the car was in park.
We rush into the emergency room and immediately run into the patient’s area. I see my mom, Beth and my baby sister, Patty crying. By the look in their face, I can see that same feeling of dread – only deeper and more painful.
No question had to be asked. My mother’s strong hug told me everything! Beth and Patty also came over to create a group hug in the middle of the hall. While crying, my mother uttered these words: “Little Daniel just died.”
Oh God, Why!!!! How am I going to tell my brother his son is dead!
The terror of the moment just fills me. I wonder how my brother would react to the news. Then my thoughts and wanderings go to Beth. She had been taking a nap and when she woke up, found Little Danny face down in the crib. She had been alone in the house at the time. The terror of finding her son dead must be horrific for her!
She is so far from her home & her family. She finds herself surrounded by a bunch of strangers who now find themselves to serve as her family. This house isn’t her home. Oh My! She is so far from home…
Beth, I know you’re lonely and I hope you’ll be alright…
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