Finding the Way Home

“I can always find my way home from here…”

This has always been how I see my sister Nancy. She is a strong willed and independent person. No matter what life throws at her she will always find h-e-r way. My mother and father have always mistaken her uniqueness & independence for misbehaviour & rebellion. I never saw Nancy that way.

One day, when we were very young, Nancy took my mother’s shearing scissors and cut up a dress my mother had just finished making for a client. Nancy was only maybe 3-4 yrs old, but my mother was very upset and only saw this as her being rebellious.

But the part that I don’t think my mother understood was that Nancy was just playing the role of a seamstress. She was imitating mom – and in doing so, she was ‘making’ a dress. Also what I saw was that Nancy is crying out for mom’s attention. My mother is very focused and driven to excel. She works her fingers to the bone & in doing that, she does not have time to dwell on silly sentiments nor on childish needs.

Don’t get me wrong! I am not saying my mother was mean or neglected us, but she did the best she could in raising 5 kids. She earned our daily bread, putting clothes on our backs & providing a new life for us. It is just that she sacrificed her own in doing that for us.

She sacrificed her feelings, her needs and desires – all for us to have ours fulfilled.

So the other day Nancy played hooky from school. She took off to Coney Island with a couple of her older friends. Mom was worried for her because she did not arrive at the usual time. She was so upset – no mad! – so mad that she needed to teach Nancy a lesson. Teach her a lesson & scare the rebelliousness right out of her!

Standing at The 41st Precinct police station over on Longwood Ave, we are waiting to see the Sargent. Mom has arranged with a police friend of hers, to have Nancy held in an interrogation room. The police office interrogated her “where did you go? why did you play hooky?” Nancy was scared and very disoriented. Even frightened when the officer told her that she may be put in jail for what she did.

A few hours later she was released to mom’s custody with the acknowledgement that she will never play hooky again. The trick worked, worked too well, because after this day Nancy changed. She seemed different somehow.

To me, Nancy was always a soul searching for herself. Searching outside of herself for a definition of who she can become. As a matter of fact, Nancy went to Fashion Institute of Technology in New York to learn to design dresses of all things… Nancy is a good kid. Very loving, very inquisitive and vulnerable.

I know she will find herself & I know she will one day realize that it has always been her superpower to find her way home.