Tag Archives: Visitation

SM – Shine on…

Oh Boy! I thought my “Moment of Synchronicity with SM” was complete when I had my FaceBook.com interaction with RT the other day, but not….

I got a call today from TR. She wanted to talk so I scheduled a time to talk. I should have know! Every time SM shows up – it’s for TR! Sure others can benefit from the input I can offer from interactions with SM, but ultimately it’s for TR.

Tonite, TR & I got a chance to talk. She is in a space of dis-empowerment & was not sure if she “can go on without him.” I listened to her for a bit & then all of a sudden I get this feeling over me!

As she is speaking, I could not just listen only I had to say something & SM’s words just rang out! SM’s words were still in my head, so I just said them:

“You do have problems & your circumstances are not great! but guess what? It’s time to let go & learn to live! Your problems are this tiny compared to the magnificence that you are! You are a creation of the great universe! Honor yourself as such. . .

go on with your life & honor your greatness!”

Wow! I never imagined me saying that – so directly – to a grieving widow!

“It is time to allow SM to rest in peace & time for you to live your life. Not as a widow, but as a woman who needs love & wants to share love! You are hanging on tight, afraid to let go… He is here with us because you are afraid to let go.”

Please, let go. . .

The silence could be cut with a knife, as the saying goes. But she was still on the line. . . She didn’t hang up on me, so something must have rang true for her!

“So you think I am holding him back?” She asked.

“Not holding ‘back’ but hanging on too tight that keeps him here with us.” I replied. “See, the only times he comes knocking is when you are suffering – so it’s surely possible that your grief & longing for him is that strong.”

“I have a suggestion. . .” I told her.

“How about letting his physicality go, but keep the love you two had as a memory and use that memory as a prop to lift you up on days that you are down.

“When you’re feeling down & think that you can’t make it, them call on that love & the strength of your memories to keep you going. . .

Just one day at a time, for now.”

“OK, I will take that on!” she replied.

Something seemed to change in her voice & a certain sense of peacefulness seems to fill her soul.

We talked for over an hour of things she would like to do. And of sharing that she would like to experience, of love she would like to feel again.

SM, it has been a crazy ride interacting with you, but I think this may be the last time I hear from you. It’s amazing how you kept showing up for TR and thank you for the privilege it was to be your voice. You were a great mentor, a beautiful soul & now shine brightly, like the diamond that you area, out in the universe.

Shine on, you crazy diamond!

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Moment of Synchronicity with SM

A really crazy moment of Synchronicity showed up for me today!

This afternoon I went to Kinko’s (sorry FedEx – I’m old school & I have fond memories of it as only Kinko’s) and scanned a document. The lady behind the counter assisted me & saved it into my thumb drive. I paid & just went home, thinking nothing of it. At home I open my thumb drive & there is nothing there! WTF!! don’t tell me I have to drive back & complain & then just get it rescanned – what a pain in the ass . . .

This has been a hell of a week! So many things going on that are disempowering – I don’t need this shit!

As I am about to close the drive, I notice a hidden folder called .Trash – ah-ha she must have dumped a first version . . . Sure enough there is a strange files called $61g617l.jpg & its an image file. I open it up and . . .

Crap!!!

It’s SM & he is looking at me over his glasses – His face is seen thru two fingers that are pinching as if to signify small. His look is as it was when he used to coach me!

Yes! it is just a picture of him – but he has that ‘about to coach me’ look.

This is how he shows up for me.

I never knew that picture was on my drive & don’t even know who took it, but here it is in a folder that never existed on this drive.

In that moment I hear SM’s voice in my head saying

“Heck you’ve got problems & circumstances that are not great – but guess what? They are this tiny compared to the magnificence that you are! You are a creation of the great universe! Honor yourself as such. . .”

They are this tiny . . . just keeps ringing in my head all evening.

So at night, after everyone has gone to bed, I go to sit at the computer. Finally found the document I was looking for – it was on the drive after all – I swear, it was not there before!

It is now 2:45 am & I am ready to go to bed. I turn off the monitor & am about to turn off the lights, when I hear that voice again & I get a sudden urge to go checkout Facebook.

Yeah FB @ 2:45am go figure ! ! !

I check posts & to see that no one is online, when all of a sudden I get a chat box open up with a friend RT. We chat about stuff & I ask him “You seem pissed – whats up?” As he shared of disempowering stuff & how he still loves his ex, I get this sensation & it takes over me. It types “You are bigger then you know & just honor yourself as the true greatness that you are.”

He does not reply for a bit – I image he is as shocked as I am with what came out. Then he replies with, “but . . . ”

I interrupt his typing with “honor yourself & give in. Surrender to your greatness & just know yourself as that and be that!”

Again he pauses & then he replies with “where did that come from & how did you know that I am really dealing with that? It is strange, but I got this strong urge to go on FB & there you were!”

God was working both ends to make sure nude celebs the message gets delivered!

I truly don’t know how that occurs! Synchronicity is all I can say! Ever since SM passed, he shows up for me with a message he wants me to deliver. I just get that feeling – can’t explain it – can’t resist it either! It has to be delivered on its own time & way. This time the message was for RT.

Funny, but it’s always with an e-file picture of him. This is how SM shows up for me.

God you amaze me every time with how out of the blue things just are aligned as they need to be.

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Visitaion : #15 Confirmed

Today my wife got a call that Julito passed away. This confirms the premonition I had on the 15th.

We went to visit the family & when we got there I got the confirmation of my visitation dream. The family was at peace & they were complete with the way Julito passed away. They were not crying over the loss, but were praising God for not letting him suffer and live in a long vegetated state.

Luis even shared with us that 10 years ago, Julito got ill and was ready to die. Luis’ son was about to be born & Luis asked God to keep Julito around a little while longer so that he can be with his grandson. He thanked God for the additional time Julito had to spend with the family & the grandson.

They were now OK with him passing and the time had come for him to be with God. They were OK because in their eyes God had given them a sign at the hospital. A flock of pigeons started gathered outside his hospital room window the evening that he was taken to Hospice. Grays on one side, whites on another & a reddish one in the middle. Even the nurses commented on how odd that was. They’ve never seen the birds before today.

This was the case for a few days. But on the day Julito was to pass, the birds flew away an hour after his passing.

Another confirmation is that in the room when Julito passed were his wife -C- his son Luis & the son’s wife. Three people.

Also the color sets of pigeons – gray, reddish & white. Again three as in my visitation dream.

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Visitation : #15 Another Active Dream Night

Another active dream night! Let me rephrase that… They are all active, but this night was really impactful and is visitation 15. So to go right into the dream:

I’m standing there waiting for my seminar to start. I am nervously rubbing my hands when somebody comes up to me. “Linda needs to see you right away” he says, pointing down the hall towards the end of the building where the gymnasium is located. “Right now?” I question. “Yes, In the gym. It’s urgent!”

OK, so I head down the hallway, passed the double fire doors with the tiny wire-mesh glass that only gives you a glimpse of what’s on the other side. I push the gray doors which seem to weight heavy to the touch. I have to push even harder just to get them to open. Once on the other side, I walk into the tiny vestibule of the gymnasium. There is nobody here so I look around to get a clue. The room is small with a low acoustical ceiling and with only two sets of doors. The choice is clear. To the right, a single narrow door leading into the coaches office, but straight ahead is a double set of doors that I assume will lead me into the gym.

I push them open and walk into a large, white, voluminous room. Everywhere there is equipment lining up the wall. Straight ahead there is a basketball hoop. To the right at the end of the room seems to be the only clear line of path. Except that its just an edge that seems to drop off. I walk over to the edge, looking for a ladder or stairs down, but none that I can find.

No way down but a slatted wall, that seems to be like a stacked set of red ‘p-leather’ bleachers. I am at the top of these bleachers & scaling them seems like the only way down. Down below I hear people, so it can’t be that bad of a climb down.

I climb down & when I get there, I see a guy & two ladies. I know them! the figures don’t look like them, but I know it’s them. The guy is on the left side of this lower gym, somewhat in the distance, with his back towards me. I walk towards him and for every step I take he seems to get further away from me. I call his name to which he responds by turning his head. He looks at me in the eye & then looks away.

The older lady is on the far right corner, almost frozen with a bluish, gray parka. Definitely does not seem approachable. The younger girl is on the near right coming out of this darkened hallway. She is wearing a pale yellow knee length hooded parka. You know the kind – fur rim around the hood, wrists and hem. This one was dingy looking though. As if she has fallen in some rough, slushy puddle and splashed around in it for a while.

“Hi…” she looks up and makes eye contact for a nanosecond. Drops her sad, watery eyes and quickly dashes by me as if she did not know me. Everything seems strange – off you know…

I walk into the darkened hallway and to my surprise, there’s Linda & Gladys. They have their backs to me & are talking to a man, seated on the bench. He is tall looking, with a dark blue rain coat and a clean shaven head. He looks up at me and I see a thick mustache. He looks like an agent from an insurance company or collection agency. Anyway, Linda notices him looking up and turns around. “Pablo,…. Um, this gentleman, ah… is looking for you!” Linda says startled but with a sad puppy dog look in her eyes. “What is going on?” I question. Linda steps back and almost bangs into the louvered doors. “He’s asking about your Range Rover!”

“Mr Solis, can you tell me the vehicle’s mileage the last time you drove it?” he questions with a serious look on his face. “What?… I guess its around 103,500… Why?” I question back, puzzled at such an odd question. “Could it be 103,597??” He asks.

“What the hell is this about?” I yell back, feeling extremely frustrated now, and not knowing why, slightly concerned. “Please step into the next room, Mr Solis… please?”

Now I am really concerned! “What is going on?” I insisted. “Please step into the next room…”

I walk into this bright, white hallway that opens up to a even whiter & brighter room with tiled walls and floor. To the right there is a empty steel table on the side. The room looks like a morgue and now with that chill running down my back, feels like one too. As I stepped into the room, there is a cold steel table with a lumpy, blue hospital sheet. I am shocked! there is a body under that sheet! it is a long, heavy looking person. The only part of the body I can see is the forehead and the bluish-gray hair on a large head. By the look of the hairline, I can tell that it’s an older man.

I don’t know who that can be, so I don’t react in any kind of way to seeing a dead body under a sheet. It almost seems like I’m watching a TV horror show. I was very detached to what I was seeing until I step forward some more. There, in another table is a small body laying face down, not covered by a sheet and fully dressed in a black Tuxedo. I can see the patented leather shoes, the white socks and the velvet stripe down the leg of the pant. The lower torso is detached from the bottom of the jacket. Now that hit me hard! This is a little boy…

I keep scanning up the body in a slow-motion pace. The jacket is wet, and the hands are still red. I can see water droplets dripping out the tip of the hands. “Hey I recognize that hand!!” I screamed! “What the hell is going on….” The next thing I see is the head. It is severed just below the hair line. The head is full of beautiful black hair. Long, nicely combed back and gelled. The hair is parted in the middle just like…..

“No fucking way – it can’t be!!” The head is turned slightly sideways & I saw that profile…

“AAAAAAAGHHHHHHHHHHH!!! Nooooooo way!! God no this can’t beeeeeeeee!!!” Not my son!!!

I scream and fall to the ground in the disbelief. “Noooo! This can’t be… why didn’t anybody warn me that this was the horror I am to witness…”

Things seems to fade away for what felt like hours. Finally when I became aware of where I am, I find that I am sitting up, with my head in my hands and my elbows on my knees. I am crying so much that the tears seem to have dried out. I look up and I see Linda and the bald-headed agent standing there. For a second I draw a blank, then the horror of the moment hits me. I jump to my feet and turn the severed head over. The eyes are both wide open and I see that he has blue eyes. “That’s not my boy!! My son has brown eyes, so that is most definitely not him!!!!”

I run screaming of joy that it’s not my boy. I run out of that building and run home to be with my son.


Now my interpretation of this dream:

First I woke myself up from the dream several times because I, obviously, did not like what I was seeing. I woke up crying my head off and feeling like my heart has been ripped out! I woke myself up to make sure this was not real. Real it did feel! The pain and anguish I felt still hits me hard.

But from past experience, I know I am dreaming and this is just a visitation. Lately the visitations have been gruesome … So of course it looks like this. Now if you are a first time reader, this may sound cold & heartless, but if you’ve been reading my other posts you will see that this is like visitation 15, 16 or so. So it is no news to me that I would have this kind of dream.

I now know that It is telling me of an upcoming event – that looks nothing like this, but I need to see the signs. So I must take it for what it is not, not what it looks like or feels like but what the emotions suggest.

I know that I need to analyze that dream in order to understand that message: The first thing that hits me is the repetition of the number three (3). 3 sets of doors (2/1); 3 areas – the gym, lower gym & then the morgue – (2/1). The three persons I knew in the lower gym (2 female/1 male)and then the three people in the darkened hallway (2 female/1 male). Waking into the morgue there are 3 steel tables. Again 2 occupied/1 not. Even the boy’s body was in three parts.

Also the colors I saw were 3 (red, yellow & blue) – Even the gray things I saw were in 3 shades. So what does this pattern tell me?

In Numerology, number 3: socially active, artistic, very positive and optimistic, playful, happy and fun-loving, inspirational, imaginative, motivating, enthusiastic and uplifting person.

In Dream Interpretation the number 3 may symbolize completeness and fulfillment – for example, the resolving of conflict between two opposing psychic forces.

In Christianity: 3 is the number of the Holy Father, Son & Holy Spirit. It is completeness of who God is.

Next symbolism: It was very odd seeing, what at first I thought was my son. And then ultimately realizing that it wasn’t him. This leads me to believe that it will be a family member, but not an immediate member, like my wife or son.

The gray hair is another big hint. It tells me its a male. The forehead and the gray hair, but not being able to see the face keeps it as a distant relative.

OK who do I know that is fun-loving, socially active, & uplifting distant relative. One that is currently ill?? Even making his way in life to be complete. The only person I know of is… Julito.

I pray : dear God, please keep his soul & allow him to leave this world complete. I pray that his family, left behind, is also complete and at peace with his parting. May his journey be one of peace & that he rejoice in your love.

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Hiding Out

“There, by sharing something, I realized that I’m not alone, that there is a lot of people that share with me the same preoccupations, the same ideas, the same ideals, and the same quest for a meaning for this life.”
— Paulo Coelho

It’s been a few months since I’ve written any posts here. Let me rephrase that – I have written them, they’re there, but they sit there unpublished – just waiting for me to push the ‘publish’ button. So now I have lots of ‘draft’ posts just sitting – in bold red – there waiting to be posted.

Waiting for what, I don’t know…

“You are selfish!” is what my friend Beatriz yelled at me when I shared with her what I have been doing. “Share yourself, anyway! Don’t hide behind the Vail…” is what she said as she nudged my shoulder.

So here I am sharing myself. The posts have mostly been about SM, and another visitation that culminated this week, when my aunt Olga passed away. The ‘Vail’ I was hiding behind is that they hit too close to home. I was afraid of sharing – didn’t even share it with my wife.

I have been afraid that these two deaths impacted me in a deep spiritual way! I don’t know what you believe about me seeing the spirits of people as they are leaving this realm, or if even you believe me. But that is what shows up around me!

I’ve always had it that it was weird & freaky. Well because when I was a kid, my friends thought it was freaky! This definition had stuck with me till now, obviously.

I still hear it once in a while, “He’s the weirdo who sees people die, stay away or he’ll make us die!”
But as they say… those are childhood stories, get over it….

But isn’t that why I started this blog – to share my experiences – no matter what my ‘little voice’ has to say about it.

And I also know that people need to get closure & the ‘spirits’ communicate thru me so that people left behind to deal with the loss, can get closure…

That’s my purpose, like it or not!

So for the next day or two I will be re-start ‘publishing’ my posts with their original dates. Sorry if the feed is out of order.

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