Believe it or not – yesterday God spoke to me in a way that I would have never imagined. I find myself actually preparing to give God the tithing (the actual 10%) for the first time in more then 20 yrs AND this was not my reality a few hours ago!
I started going to church about 8 months ago and have started praying as well. And for the same number of months I have been asking God to help me resolve outstanding money that people owe me for more then a year. For the past year, I have been pissed off that they do not pay & do not return my phone calls. Well to make a long story short, I finally gave up expecting God to resolve this for me & pissed when he does not reply. I gave up the need to be right (making them wrong) & ultimately I gave up expecting God to solve this for me.
What I really gave up is any attachments to the money, to being right & to needing an answer to my prayers.
The moment I gave this up, I get a call from one of the persons that owes me money. She calls apologizing for letting if go for more then a year & asking me to help them complete their project. Yesterday I met with her & her husband & walked out with a long-overdue check. I even took a chance & contacted the other person as well & sure enough we completed what was outstanding & I walked out with another check.
Now I want you to get that nothing I was doing previously was working (collection calls, nice letters, nasty letters, threats of lawyers, nothing!)
Call it luck, chance, perseverance. What I like to call it is God answering my call, since I was going to hire a lawyer (& paying a 30% fee) to deal with these bad debts today. Sure enough it would have been drawn out even longer & I would have made enemies of them.
So if this is not big/miraculous enough, I am sitting here separating the money. I am figuring what I am giving as tithing (actual 10%), using to pay my own debts & what I have left to pay bills. I take the money for tithing’s and fold it up in my pocket. Out loud I ask “so what should I do with Your money, God?” and I hear a voice from the left side, over my shoulder. “Share it!” a voice said. “With whom?” I reply AND in that instant I get a chime from my email that a friend’s message arrived. She was replying with a “LOL! [love what you said.]” to another message I sent her.
The reason this is significant is that two days and a few message ago, she very humbly and almost apologetic & embarrassed asked to borrow money. She was about to get kicked out of her apartment & her car repossessed. “No way!” I thought “I don’t even have it for my needs.” I made believe I didn’t get that message. But that was two days ago & today this money shows up when I least expected it.
I’m sitting here feeling bad that I did not reply to her with even a “no-sorry” respond. AND a chime sounded the moment I asked God “with whom to share it with?” But that is what my heart is telling me is right now! Share God’s tithings with those in need.
I question myself if I should do this. I have other people whom I owe money to, but I am being drawn to follow the word of God & do his wishes with a part of the tithing I was going to give him. Call this irresponsible, naive, or anything you like, but for the first time in more then 20 years I am closer to God & I am actually feeling in communication with him. So I must do what I feel is right.