Tag Archives: Thoughts

Whose Life Is It Anyway?

Yesterday my wife’s car was hit as it was parked next to my house. It just sat there innocently waiting for me to take it for a ride when a young girl sideswiped it and shoved it 5′ onto the sidewalk.

Sure enough the car is totalled. Broken rear axle and the front transaxle is also damaged.

Alero is totaledNeedless to say, the day did not starting out well and it just went south from there.

Two of my work computers freak out and I spent 6 hrs trying to fix them. My office VOIP phone system stopped working – but no worry it will forward to my cell phone.

And today I showed a sign of weakness. I allowed myself to think “Well, it can’t get any worse then this.” No sooner that the words left my mouth and…

As soon as I said that my cell phone would not work. I leave for a client meeting in a state of disempowerment. What a way to start day two of breakdowns!! On my way, about 2 miles from my destination, my car’s air suspension system freaks out! Fu€k!!

“EAS Failure – Warning Do Not Drive Over 35MPH!!” The dashboard kept warning me.

I was in Ft. Lauderdale (more then 40 miles from home) and I find myself like a ‘vato’ driving my ‘low rider machine’ and hip-hopping all the way home. I was determined not to let this setback stop me! No way!!

Anyway two hours later, I made it there. I started the trip back pissed and cursing everything and everyone. But I arrived with a smile on my face and a new found peace. As I’m driving and the car hops at every bump, I find myself thinking of a skit on the “Whose Line is it Anyway Show.”

Whose Line Is It Anyway?Have you seen this show? It stars four comedians who are put into odd situations and they must improvise a skit on the spur of the moment. Not only do they improvise, but they make me laugh at whatever situation they are in. It’s really funny to see Colin Mochrie, Drew Carey, Ryan Stiles and Wayne Brady pick up on something unexpected and just play with it.

So I see myself in this disempowered state and I see Colin making believe that he is riding in a car, sitting really low to the ground and his arm resting on the imaginary window ledge. He is going down the road without a care in the world while in the green screen behind him chaos ensues. The dichotomy and contrast is just funny. I can imagine Colin’s silly smile when he finally realizes what is happening behind him.

What I saw available for me:

Well I say the question “Whose life is it anyway?” Just because circumstances are NOT what I was expecting in life, it does not mean that it’s time to freak out and let the world fall apart! In fact, it’s an opportunity to deal with the bad things in a way that empowers me.

Sure I have every right to be pissed, angry and overwhelmed – but why?? Yes, bad things happen, but I have the choice of who I am going to be in the face of chaos. Do I let that piss me off and leave me disempowered – OR – to I choose to be empowered no matter the circumstance.

I choose to empower myself and overcome the circumstances! This leaves a space available for me to take action about it anyway.

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You Can’t Cross the Sea Merely by Standing…

You can’t cross the sea merely by standing and staring at the water.”
-Rabindranath Tagore

So this is where I am finding myself lately. Standing at the shores of life looking out to the horizon, waiting to see what the future will bring.

I find that I have let the economy (or should I say – the stories, chatter, news about the state of the economy) dictate that I stay stranded on these shores.

Fear has a way of causing me to be frozen. Forcing myself to seek out new contacts. Join new networks – even look up some old friends and rekindle those friendships.

Action is the only antidote!

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Love Now

I have been getting very frustrated with the political/economic environment in this country. The level of fear is incredible! I am concerned by the conspiracy theories, fear-mongering and the doomsday stories that are supposedly out to cause the end of the world as we know it.

The real estate market taking a dump; naked celebrities foreclosures at an all time hi; banks falling apart and failing; the declaration of Marshall Law in the USA.

Did you know that as of Oct 1st Marshall Law was enacted???

The eminent collapse of the Dollar and the possible introduction of the Amero. Have you heard of the Amero? It is the new coinage that will replace the Dollar. It is where our money, investments, 401K’s, OUR savings! ALL will be worthless – at best only pennies on the Dollar.

The thought of all this scared the shit out of me! And left me disempowered and in a swirl.

So what is there to do??

Well, just be present to the fact that “Its all a choice between Fear and Love!” When I get overwhelmed with negative stories, I forget that life is just a ride and that I have a choice!

Just listen to this video.

Bill Hicks has an explanation to What the Point of our Lives is.

It is an inspiring perspective!

It’s that simple, someone might even call it simplistic, but I’m standing for it:

“Choose Love. It is and has always been the only answer!”

This is only a ride! We can change it anytime, it’s our choice – Fear or Love!

“The eyes of fear want you to put bigger locks on your doors and buy guns! Close yourself off.”

Choosing fear only lets the demons run amok. Fear will lead us to shut ourselves off and hide out.

Here is what we can do to change the world!

Choosing Love will allow us to explore space together (both inner and outer) forever in peace! – The eyes of Love see all of us as One…

Turn off the chatter of the main stream media and….
Choose for yourself!

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God Speaks in Unexpected Ways

Believe it or not – yesterday God spoke to me in a way that I would have never imagined. I find myself actually preparing to give God the tithing (the actual 10%) for the first time in more then 20 yrs AND this was not my reality a few hours ago!

I started going to church about 8 months ago and have started praying as well. And for the same number of months I have been asking God to help me resolve outstanding money that people owe me for more then a year. For the past year, I have been pissed off that they do not pay & do not return my phone calls. Well to make a long story short, I finally gave up expecting God to resolve this for me & pissed when he does not reply. I gave up the need to be right (making them wrong) & ultimately I gave up expecting God to solve this for me.

What I really gave up is any attachments to the money, to being right & to needing an answer to my prayers.

The moment I gave this up, I get a call from one of the persons that owes me money. She calls apologizing for letting if go for more then a year & asking me to help them complete their project. Yesterday I met with her & her husband & walked out with a long-overdue check. I even took a chance & contacted the other person as well & sure enough we completed what was outstanding & I walked out with another check.

Now I want you to get that nothing I was doing previously was working (collection calls, nice letters, nasty letters, threats of lawyers, nothing!)

Call it luck, chance, perseverance. What I like to call it is God answering my call, since I was going to hire a lawyer (& paying a 30% fee) to deal with these bad debts today. Sure enough it would have been drawn out even longer & I would have made enemies of them.

So if this is not big/miraculous enough, I am sitting here separating the money. I am figuring what I am giving as tithing (actual 10%), using to pay my own debts & what I have left to pay bills. I take the money for tithing’s and fold it up in my pocket. Out loud I ask “so what should I do with Your money, God?” and I hear a voice from the left side, over my shoulder. “Share it!” a voice said. “With whom?” I reply AND in that instant I get a chime from my email that a friend’s message arrived. She was replying with a “LOL! [love what you said.]” to another message I sent her.

The reason this is significant is that two days and a few message ago, she very humbly and almost apologetic & embarrassed asked to borrow money. She was about to get kicked out of her apartment & her car repossessed. “No way!” I thought “I don’t even have it for my needs.” I made believe I didn’t get that message. But that was two days ago & today this money shows up when I least expected it.

I’m sitting here feeling bad that I did not reply to her with even a “no-sorry” respond. AND a chime sounded the moment I asked God “with whom to share it with?” But that is what my heart is telling me is right now! Share God’s tithings with those in need.

I question myself if I should do this. I have other people whom I owe money to, but I am being drawn to follow the word of God & do his wishes with a part of the tithing I was going to give him. Call this irresponsible, naive, or anything you like, but for the first time in more then 20 years I am closer to God & I am actually feeling in communication with him. So I must do what I feel is right.

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Scent of a Woman

It is midnight as I return home.
asleep, I will find her again.
Undressing in the dark, I feel my way
towards the foot of the bed.

Head into the bath readying for bed
Brush my teeth and check the stubble.
As usual, I stare into the mirror to see
the effects of the day.
Today’s toils were not so bad after all.

I turn off the bath lights and
walk into the darkness of the room.
I prop up one pillow & set the other
ready to hug it goodnight.

I pull the sheets over my head
and kiss my wife good night.
As I lean forward I smell the
sweet scent of her skin.
And remembered why I love her.

I wish to tell her so this moment.
But alas, it must wait for the dawn.
As tomorrow will be another day.

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