Tag Archives: SM

What is the Message…

This morning I woke up from another vivid dream. I had been dreaming about SM & I was having a conversation with him as to why I saw him the way I did. In the dream SM never seemed to be interested in answering what I wanted to know, it was almost as if he would only explain what his purpose was. He explained that he wants his wife, TR, to know that everything is going to be OK. That his passing is as has to be & that there is nothing wrong.

See SM & TR were newlyweds and at the time of his passing they were only married 6-8 months. Of course loosing her newlywed husband is a tragic experience for TR & I asked SM “How am I going to tell her in the mist of this grief?”

SM replied “don’t worry she will contact you when it’s time!” This kind of gave me a sigh of relief – since I didn’t have to find the right moment to tell her.

When I awoke from the dream I felt a great sense of peace & tranquility. See on the day of the accident I went down to see TR and I was there consoling her for a few hours. I knew I had to tell her how I saw SM, but did not dare. I was there for her & I had to consider what her needs were. She cried a lot and kept saying “what am I going to do without SM?”

Then during the funeral services I was holding back the urge to blurt out what I knew. I felt guilty, all that time, that I knew something & said nothing. The funeral service was gigantic – it was not the appropriate time to tell her this! Hundreds of people were there and hundreds more could not be. See SM was a powerful man & he contributed to so many people around the world. He was bigger then life & bigger then I even imagined.

Condolences poured in from all over the world. There even was a conference call, the night previous, for all the people that knew SM, and could not be at his funeral, to express who SM was for them. Interesting enough there more then 100 persons on the call. People from India, Japan, Australia and even New Zealand. That is how big his presence is in this world.

Now, with this vivid dream, I am at ease knowing that my gut feelings are confirmed – it was not the right time to tell her.

It’s funny, most people (or at least the myths & tv movies) believe that ‘ghosts’ have unfinished business, that is why they hang around. But from my experiences, it is not them – but us – the living who keep them from crossing over. They are complete & it is time for them to go, but we have a hard time letting go. We call them back to this realm.

So anyway, the message that SM wanted TR to know, is that because of her, he can go complete. She fulfills and completes what was not there for him. It was her love for him that allowed him to be fulfilled.

Having been loved and being ‘love’ was important for him in order to complete.

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The Soul’s Purpose

I’m still thinking of SM & his passing. He passed February 8th to be exact. I was working in his group to create an event and in the process of creating the event I learned a lot from him. The event is going to start on the 26th and I wanted to back out, because SM would not be there. But you know what – it would not honor SM if I do back out. So therefore I am moving forward anyway. He would have told me to do that anyway.

There are many things that I will have as a memory of him – thanks SM for the generosity – but one thing that he always said, sticks with me the most…

“We as human beings are always given by the little voice that runs in our heads. Do you want to have an extraordinary life? Well then – thank that little voice for sharing and then get on with the task at hand – fulfilling on our soul’s purpose!”

–SM

The task at hand IS fulfilling on our soul’s purpose. We are driven to be bigger then we know ourselves to be. We are driven to wonder what else is out there.

The one thing that I allow to stop me is wondering if I can do it.

Well it’s time to stop wondering and start living larger then I know myself to be. In the memory of SM, I am getting on with my soul’s purpose. And I am taking on being bigger then I know myself to be on this event.

This I do to honor SM’s stand and the space he leaves wide open.

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Perception is Key

For the last few days I’ve been wondering why SM’s visitation was so different. I’ve never experienced a spirit present itself like that. In the past they show up in my dreams – never in real life.

But in analyzing this visitation, what I saw that was different is only how I choose to pereceive it. See in the previous visits I’ve choosen to call then dreams or visions, never choosing to consider them to be my reality. I guess you could say that I was in denial that this is my gift. But SM’s visitation was real!

I realized that this is not the first time that the spirit presents itself in a physical way during waking moments. For example in Valmi’s Visit she presented herself as a light energy (aura) in the corner of my room. I chose to say that there way no way that I could have been awake and seeing this. And since it was at night and I woke up from sleeping, I chose to call it a dream.

Im my mother-in-law’s visit, the spirit was a physical breeze and the scent of her favorite flower, the violet, showing up in the middle of the day.

So in SM’s visit, what I experienced was a light energy. This time it was real! I was in a public event; many people around & I saw his soul’s energy leave his body.

I’m starting to accept that it will present itself in so many different unexpected ways.

What there is to do – just accept it – and honor it as the gift it is!

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Shine On You Crazy Diamond

The common eye sees only the outside of things, and judges by that, but the ‘all seeing eye’ pierces through, and reads the heart and the soul, finding there capacities which the outside didn’t indicate or promise, and which the other kind couldn’t detect.
–Mark Twain

Today I got really sad news. SM, a friend & mentor passed away! He is a powerhouse & an inspiration for me and many other people with whom he had contact. I couldn’t accept this news so I call a friend we have in common and I ask her… “Tell me it isn’t so!”

She replies  “I can’t do that – it is so…”

This news hit me extremely hard & I broke down and just had to cry. I don’t know why it hit me soooo hard. Maybe because I just saw him last night. Or maybe because it confirmed what I already knew last night AND felt powerless about it!!!

I knew he was leaving…

You’ve heard of the expression “The eyes are the windows of the soul..” Well last night, SM’s soul was exiting out thru his windows! His soul would no longer be contained.

The greatness that SM is – can no longer be contained within the smallness of a human package. The genie is free and the light can no longer be contained.

I saw a bright light started emanating from his collar, his eyes and from the top of his head. I knew last night, in the middle of the event, that SM’s soul was departing but i did not want to acknowledge it.

I sat there almost frozen – since I knew what it was. I wanted to jump up as scream SM “you can’t go.. Stay…” but like a freshly cut tree stump, I sat there stoic and numb.

SM shined last night, both literally & figuratively. See he managed the production of the event and was in charge of anything that happened with the facility and equipment. Well both the facility and the equipment acted up and of course SM took care of it. The evening was his and he shined. And I had the great honor to see him shine.

At the start of the event, the lights started to flicker. SM runs out the door to manage it. I ‘m sitting right up front & saw SM walk. As he streaked by I saw his light leaving for the first time. I tried connecting with his eyes but couldn’t see them.

The light was more like a dim glow & some glare on his glasses. The building lights flickered, then shut off and then a few minutes latter they came on. When SM walked back in, he looked normal so I thought nothing of it.

Few minutes later the lights decided to alternate – one row on & nothing else, then another section & nothing else. Again SM leaves the room & again he streaks by in front of me. I try to connect with his eyes. This time the glare was much stronger and it looks like steam spilling out around the rim. When he came back in, he looksnormal again.

What the heck – I’m I imagining this??

The third event is the building’s fire alarm going off. this time it was a naked celebrities strong and beautiful light!

I could see the light emanating from his eyes and reflecting off his glasses. It was so consistent that it blocked me from seeing his eyes.

All I could see is a shine around his eyes, a reflected back image on the lens and a halo around his head. Wow! this is beautiful

I’ve never experienced a soul leave at the moment it is going. I’ve always imagined that as  an awful experience. I’ve had death as a scary devastating occurrance.  After all we are lead to believe that death is the END – there is nothing there on the other side. The grand finale, the last curtain call and the end of who we are….

But my friends, I beg to differ & this experience confirms it for me. If you ask for evidence – I have none. You could call it a hallucination or a figment of my imagination.

But in my heart I know I got to experience the essence of who we are and how it is compressed and compacted down into this little 5′-9″ bottle I call my body. When I saw SM leaving, it was as if the genie was released from it’s bottle to be free and be the greatness that this soul can be.

Finally, at the end of the evening SM & his crew are called to the front to be acknowledged and in that moment, before he stood up, the halo around his head, pulled off towards the ceiling.

The glow left him!

The genie is now free to expand and stretch it wings. Fly & be free!

He was now complete as he was being acknowledged. He was free to go and left completely fulfilled.

OMG! my words are dismal at explaining the magnitude of what I was experiencing!

Within hours his body completed it’s purpose and at 10:15pm, SM was no longer on this earth. That evening SM’s life was completed in a fatal car accident. He went on to shine on out in the universe…

He is an amazing powerhouse, a beautiful soul shining and giving love to everyone he met.

Shine on you crazy diamond…

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