Tag Archives: SM

SM – Shine on…

Oh Boy! I thought my “Moment of Synchronicity with SM” was complete when I had my FaceBook.com interaction with RT the other day, but not….

I got a call today from TR. She wanted to talk so I scheduled a time to talk. I should have know! Every time SM shows up – it’s for TR! Sure others can benefit from the input I can offer from interactions with SM, but ultimately it’s for TR.

Tonite, TR & I got a chance to talk. She is in a space of dis-empowerment & was not sure if she “can go on without him.” I listened to her for a bit & then all of a sudden I get this feeling over me!

As she is speaking, I could not just listen only I had to say something & SM’s words just rang out! SM’s words were still in my head, so I just said them:

“You do have problems & your circumstances are not great! but guess what? It’s time to let go & learn to live! Your problems are this tiny compared to the magnificence that you are! You are a creation of the great universe! Honor yourself as such. . .

go on with your life & honor your greatness!”

Wow! I never imagined me saying that – so directly – to a grieving widow!

“It is time to allow SM to rest in peace & time for you to live your life. Not as a widow, but as a woman who needs love & wants to share love! You are hanging on tight, afraid to let go… He is here with us because you are afraid to let go.”

Please, let go. . .

The silence could be cut with a knife, as the saying goes. But she was still on the line. . . She didn’t hang up on me, so something must have rang true for her!

“So you think I am holding him back?” She asked.

“Not holding ‘back’ but hanging on too tight that keeps him here with us.” I replied. “See, the only times he comes knocking is when you are suffering – so it’s surely possible that your grief & longing for him is that strong.”

“I have a suggestion. . .” I told her.

“How about letting his physicality go, but keep the love you two had as a memory and use that memory as a prop to lift you up on days that you are down.

“When you’re feeling down & think that you can’t make it, them call on that love & the strength of your memories to keep you going. . .

Just one day at a time, for now.”

“OK, I will take that on!” she replied.

Something seemed to change in her voice & a certain sense of peacefulness seems to fill her soul.

We talked for over an hour of things she would like to do. And of sharing that she would like to experience, of love she would like to feel again.

SM, it has been a crazy ride interacting with you, but I think this may be the last time I hear from you. It’s amazing how you kept showing up for TR and thank you for the privilege it was to be your voice. You were a great mentor, a beautiful soul & now shine brightly, like the diamond that you area, out in the universe.

Shine on, you crazy diamond!

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Moment of Synchronicity with SM

A really crazy moment of Synchronicity showed up for me today!

This afternoon I went to Kinko’s (sorry FedEx – I’m old school & I have fond memories of it as only Kinko’s) and scanned a document. The lady behind the counter assisted me & saved it into my thumb drive. I paid & just went home, thinking nothing of it. At home I open my thumb drive & there is nothing there! WTF!! don’t tell me I have to drive back & complain & then just get it rescanned – what a pain in the ass . . .

This has been a hell of a week! So many things going on that are disempowering – I don’t need this shit!

As I am about to close the drive, I notice a hidden folder called .Trash – ah-ha she must have dumped a first version . . . Sure enough there is a strange files called $61g617l.jpg & its an image file. I open it up and . . .

Crap!!!

It’s SM & he is looking at me over his glasses – His face is seen thru two fingers that are pinching as if to signify small. His look is as it was when he used to coach me!

Yes! it is just a picture of him – but he has that ‘about to coach me’ look.

This is how he shows up for me.

I never knew that picture was on my drive & don’t even know who took it, but here it is in a folder that never existed on this drive.

In that moment I hear SM’s voice in my head saying

“Heck you’ve got problems & circumstances that are not great – but guess what? They are this tiny compared to the magnificence that you are! You are a creation of the great universe! Honor yourself as such. . .”

They are this tiny . . . just keeps ringing in my head all evening.

So at night, after everyone has gone to bed, I go to sit at the computer. Finally found the document I was looking for – it was on the drive after all – I swear, it was not there before!

It is now 2:45 am & I am ready to go to bed. I turn off the monitor & am about to turn off the lights, when I hear that voice again & I get a sudden urge to go checkout Facebook.

Yeah FB @ 2:45am go figure ! ! !

I check posts & to see that no one is online, when all of a sudden I get a chat box open up with a friend RT. We chat about stuff & I ask him “You seem pissed – whats up?” As he shared of disempowering stuff & how he still loves his ex, I get this sensation & it takes over me. It types “You are bigger then you know & just honor yourself as the true greatness that you are.”

He does not reply for a bit – I image he is as shocked as I am with what came out. Then he replies with, “but . . . ”

I interrupt his typing with “honor yourself & give in. Surrender to your greatness & just know yourself as that and be that!”

Again he pauses & then he replies with “where did that come from & how did you know that I am really dealing with that? It is strange, but I got this strong urge to go on FB & there you were!”

God was working both ends to make sure the message gets delivered!

I truly don’t know how that occurs! Synchronicity is all I can say! Ever since SM passed, he shows up for me with a message he wants me to deliver. I just get that feeling – can’t explain it – can’t resist it either! It has to be delivered on its own time & way. This time the message was for RT.

Funny, but it’s always with an e-file picture of him. This is how SM shows up for me.

God you amaze me every time with how out of the blue things just are aligned as they need to be.

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Helping Her Cry…

There once was a four year old child whose next door neighbor, an elderly gentleman had recently lost his wife. Upon coming home, the child seeing the old man cry, went across the street to the old gentleman’s yard. He climbed onto his lap, and just sat there.

Moments later he crosses back to his home and goes inside. His mother, intrigued by the interaction of the child asked him “what did you say to the neighbor that made him smile?” The little boy said, “Nothing, I just helped him cry.” – My take on a tale by Leo Buscaglia

Holly Crap, Batman!! This morning I got this weird feeling. I am feeling like something (spiritual) is coming on.

Well, after I had my coffee, I sat down at the computer to check my emails. Sure enough, nothing new or exciting showed up, just a bunch of junk mail. I move it all to the delete folder & as I do that, one email catches my eye! It is a ‘join my network’ kinda email from LinkedIn.com

I get excited & wonder who wants me to add them to my network, so I clicked on it. Google Chrome opens up & there right on the LinkedIn page was SM! He was inviting me to be in his
network!

Holy Ghosts, Batman…

He was showing up again & shit! I didn’t even realize what day it is today!

Today is the 1-year anniversary of SM’s passing!

He shows up a year later-to-the-day and invites me to be friends! So I kinda laugh at it because this is not the first time he shows up like this. The last time I blew it off & could not believe my eyes. Just could not accept that he shows up like that for me!

But here he is, so I ask him…. “Hey SM how you doing?” yeah I know it’s a lame greeting I would ask a friend I saw just the other day. But I didn’t know what else to say…

Then I hear in my head “Tell her I said hi. Please check to see if she is OK”

Wow! his tone sounds concerned as if he’s worried for her… “Hey SM” I ask “is she OK?” but never got a reply.

But the task is given… and a deed to be done…

As the day goes by, I got busy w/work & conference calls & kinda forgot to call TR. Later that evening, I am waiting for a participant to call me, so I have my phone at hand. And a number I did not know rings… “Hmm.. he’s late! His cell must have died & this must be him calling me from a different number” – so I pick up.

On the other end was the sad, soft-spoken voice of a woman speaking slowly, “Hi, Pablo. Just calling to say hi…”

It was TR! but she sounded different. She said “It sound like your busy, so I will call you back tomorrow…” and hanged up!

Wow, that did not sound right & I can’t believe it’s her. I call her back & she answers. “Hey, TR! are you OK? You sound different today!” She replied “I’m feeling a little sad and do you know why?”

“I knew why… SM says hi!” was my reply.

We spoke for hours of the moments SM filled her life and the way he joked with her. She reminisces of how he would come & go. And how – even though he would be weekends away supervising a course – he would still find time to text her, just to say hi. This gave her comfort & peace of mind, just knowing that he loved her.

“Hi SM”

She spoke of that little smirk he would have when he was making a point and of how he would look at her over his glasses, when she was not being her word.

She spoke of moments that filled her soul,
and cried of days when she missed him so.

Screams to the heavens as if to complain,
“God, why did you take him away?”

Sadly, she mourns quietly of days alone,
yet nude celebs to come…

“Why did he leave me!” she cries “Oh, how I wish he would be here right by my side! How I wish he would speak to me…”

All I could do is listen and help her cry…

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Hiding Out

“There, by sharing something, I realized that I’m not alone, that there is a lot of people that share with me the same preoccupations, the same ideas, the same ideals, and the same quest for a meaning for this life.”
— Paulo Coelho

It’s been a few months since I’ve written any posts here. Let me rephrase that – I have written them, they’re there, but they sit there unpublished – just waiting for me to push the ‘publish’ button. So now I have lots of ‘draft’ posts just sitting – in bold red – there waiting to be posted.

Waiting for what, I don’t know…

“You are selfish!” is what my friend Beatriz yelled at me when I shared with her what I have been doing. “Share yourself, anyway! Don’t hide behind the Vail…” is what she said as she nudged my shoulder.

So here I am sharing myself. The posts have mostly been about SM, and another visitation that culminated this week, when my aunt Olga passed away. The ‘Vail’ I was hiding behind is that they hit too close to home. I was afraid of sharing – didn’t even share it with my wife.

I have been afraid that these two deaths impacted me in a deep spiritual way! I don’t know what you believe about me seeing the spirits of people as they are leaving this realm, or if even you believe me. But that is what shows up around me!

I’ve always had it that it was weird & freaky. Well because when I was a kid, my friends thought it was freaky! This definition had stuck with me till now, obviously.

I still hear it once in a while, “He’s the weirdo who sees people die, stay away or he’ll make us die!”
But as they say… those are childhood stories, get over it….

But isn’t that why I started this blog – to share my experiences – no matter what my ‘little voice’ has to say about it.

And I also know that people need to get closure & the ‘spirits’ communicate thru me so that people left behind to deal with the loss, can get closure…

That’s my purpose, like it or not!

So for the next day or two I will be re-start ‘publishing’ my posts with their original dates. Sorry if the feed is out of order.

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Today is the Day

Today is the day!! TR called me and requested time to speak with me about SM. I am a little nervous now but it is time to “face the music” (as the saying goes) and deliver to her, the message entrusted in me.

TR is a friend with whom I have shared about my ‘abilities’ She knows what it is I do and her first question was: “Did SM communicate with you?”

“Oh-boy” was my first thought, but this is what my dream w/SM said would happen. I shared with her that yes, I have seen him prior to his passing. “Was he wearing a dark shirt w/stripes & a Khaki slacks that night?” was her next question. “Yes, I seem to remember he was…” I replied wondering – that’s an odd question. But accepted that this gave her a sense of peace in knowing the answer.

“I ask only because I have not seem SM in a few weeks and the night of his accident he was on his way to my house to spend the weekend with me…” She paused for a minute & I asked her what she was thinking. “I gave him that clothes and that night, I woke up at 1am because I dreamt he was waving goodbye – wearing that clothes.” As she said these words she broke down crying. “It’s my fault! If he wasn’t on his way to see me he would not have died…”

“Don’t say that TR, don’t you ever believe that! It was his time to go…” I consoled her with a firm tone of voice. “It was the way it needed to be and there is nothing you nor I could have done to have it be different!”

“How can you be sure of that?” She questioned me as she stopped crying.
She asked me to tell her what I saw. As I’m telling her this, she stops me. “No, tell me what else did you see?” So I shared with her the experience I had of SM that night and I shared how I saw him. That his spirit started to leave his body during the middle of the seminar. I saw his spirit ascended and finally leave as he was being acknowledged in front of his peers and how he left complete, that moment, even before the accident.

“He was gone even before the accident?”

“Yes TR,” I assured her “his spirit had to go & all that was left was for his physicality to complete & go to rest.” This seemed to put her at ease a bit.

Well, showtime is here! this is the moment SM spoke about and I could feel her hurting heart yearning for peace. I relayed the message I got from SM:

That because of her love, he can go complete. She fulfills and completes what was not there for him. It was her love for him that allowed him to be fulfilled.”

Having been loved and being ‘love’ was important for him in order to complete. And she gave him that.

This seemed to calm her soul and seemed to put her at ease. We continued to talk for hours and now her tone of voice was peaceful. She needs to grieve, but can now do so knowing that it was his time. Not worrying, that the accident took his life before he was ready.

We will never be ready to go, but our soul knows when our time comes.

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