Tag Archives: Dreams

Peaceful Resignation

(Visitation #6)

Death is only a horizon, and a horizon is only the limit of our sight. Open our eyes to see more clearly…”

— William Penn

For the past 4-5 days I have been feeling very uneasy. A feeling of giving up & no longer trying – a sense of “peaceful resignation.” Don’t get me wrong, this is not me talking – at least not my usual self. I don’t give up or give in easily. I was thinking of death but not in the way you may be thinking of it! My wife’s uncle has been sick for a few days with stomach aches. He is 93 yrs old & I got the sense of peaceful resignation from him. All I could think off was avoiding the daily grind.

A sense of submission & withdrawal is overwhelming me. Work was the only thing that could occupy my mind with other things, but I did not want to be there. My stomach was very uneasy & even upset. I was constantly running to the bathroom today. It hurt not with typical stomach pains but from almost a sense of withdrawal. The feeling was all over me. Every thought & every sound. The music I listened to for the past 4 days has a melancholic tone. I was listening to the Kill Bill Vol. 1 soundtrack. Songs like The Lonely Shepherd (MP3) & Nancy Sinatra’ Bang Bang (MP3). These songs have a mellow sound and bring back the past (but not my past). I even had a fascination with

Arika Yamaoka’s “Room of Angel” (MP3) – This song is from the Silent Hill 4 game & it has some dark undertones & black lyrics – “here’s a lullaby to close your eyes – goodbye…” (No – the lyrics are not indicative of the person, just music that I was drawn to).

Even when I did not have the music on, this song occupied my mind.

The theme of resignation occupies my mind over & over again. Wednesday night we found out that my wife’s uncle is diagnosed with cancer in the stomach & a blocked intestine and needs to be operated. I had a sinking feeling in my stomach & a sense of emptiness. A spiritual emptiness – like he was no longer there. Tonight we visited him again & I got a peaceful sense from him. He was in little pain & not awake, but I did feel his spirit. He was surrounded with the love of his family.

Tonight while sleeping I dreamt of him. Not his physical self but more his way of being. It was a nice feeling of peace, playfulness, serenity & love. That is who he is. We were two white puffy clouds floating in the sky. We were swirling together, playing and rejoicing life. The play felt like it had been going on for a lifetime, when all of a sudden his cloud pulled away from me and swished away forever.


Suddenly, at that very moment I woke up. It was 4am I awoke out of breath gasping for air. I felt like I was taking my last breath & there was no more air for me to breathe. I felt something leaving my soul & it took my breath with it. It took me a few minutes to get my breath back. My wife was helping me as I tried to explain to her my dream. “Why do you think that was him?” she asked me. I did not get a chance to answer.

It is now 4:30am and as I was trying to catch my breath, the phone rings! As my wife answer the phone, she turns around to look at me. “No way!” I think to myself. With that said. She tells me that it’s her cousin. “The hospital called. He has just passed away.” was all she said & all she needed to say – as I already knew. My wife gets ready & leaves for the hospital & I stay behind with our son, who is sleeping.

I could not fall back to sleep but am exhausted. This visitation really left me drained! It is now 6:30 am & I am listening to Arika Yamaoka’s “Room of Angel” (MP3) song as I type this. I no longer feel pain; that sense of resignation nor a submissive feeling of loss. As my stomach frees itself of anxiety, I begin to feel peace, playfulness & love as it fills my very existence.

It is who he was! Rest in peace, Rojelio

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This madness is beyond me…

This night the dream started out with a late evening meeting and an angry client in my office. I don’t think he’s angry with me, but here is where it ended up. The client is on his cell screaming at his competitor. When he gets off the phone he demands from his associate – ‘destroy that guy!’

Within minutes I become aware of what he meant by ‘destroy.’ The guy not only lost his financial life but took what he had left of his life as well. Next, that client destroys the career of one of his associates in front of me simply because the associate did not react fast enough. Now comes a brutal reality. He kills a competitor – in front of me – with his bare hands. The anger, the brutality, the rage, the savagery of killing with his bare hands is the most extreme human act. What is his problem and why is this happening in front of me!?

This anger and madness is beyond me! I don’t understand how this can be over something so trivial as a business deal! The deal had nothing to do with me or my office. He was simply sitting in my office at my desk, on the phone doing HIS business deals. Even then the deal had not even gone bad! It just seemed to come from his uncontrollable rage. But it all happened in front of me – in my office- in my world!

I have become a witness to his rage – to his Savagery – his inhuman dark side. All in my office where humanity and civility is the focus of my architecture – a place where a house is conceived to be the nucleus of the family’s home. A place where shelter is created. Shelter from this brutal, uncaring world – A place where brutality and Savagery is not supposed to rear it’s ugly head.

Brutal contrast – dark irony – disturbing dichotomy!

How can a nice man – always full of energy and complementary nature, have such a dark side – a second face, kept deep in the shadow. Kept deep down inside of him. – So deep, so repressed, that when it surfaced, it exploded with the destructive force of all the volcanic eruptions that mankind has ever experienced. Even a nuclear explosion pales in comparison – only because all this rage came from a little man!

Now he has a foe in me! An enemy that he will not tolerate in his world. I have been transformed from an innocent bystander in my safe world – into an antagonist forcefully thrusted into his world. He now turns his anger towards me. He hunts me down and strikes at the very heart of my life. He has kidnapped my wife and my son and has devised a plan for our demise. He created and placed us into tall, square, wooden boxes that will ultimately become our final resting place. Our new homes – My family’s home for the revered-feared afterlife.

The three of us are helpless – me holding my son in my arms, as if I could come close to protecting him from this evil force. And my wife helpless by my side – looking at me as if to say how can this be happening to us?? We are trapped in these boxes as they begin to shoot at us. Suddenly I feel the sting of the bullets as they penetrate my body and soul. I no longer feel the savagery. I no longer feel anything – except my life draining out of my body. The three of us seen to drift away – together – to another existence. An existence beyond these bodies – a place far, far away from this madness we call the human race. We drifted away to the true home that God has created for us – a shelter away from this physical existence – to a serene, peaceful existence as a spiritual part of God.

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Deja Vu

Here is another Deja Vu dream. About a month ago I had a dream that I was standing in this front yard under a very large tree. This tree has many long thick branches and the root system was on the surface. The root system is very extensive and intercrossing across the floor. I see myself walking over the large roots to reach a hammock that is spanning several large branches.

At the time this dream had no meaning or significance, since I did not know where it was. I have never seen this place before or since – until just the other day! My sister and her husband bought a new house. I was helping them move in – this was my first time seen the house. After we were done we sat down in the yard to eat lunch and – poof there was the hammock hanging from the very same tree I had seen in my dream weeks before.

Very strange!

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Alien Invasion

There are several dream types that keep recurring. One of them is the alien invasion dream. It always starts off the same way – a still dark night (no moon) the stars are bright in the sky, when all of a sudden the truth is revealed the stars are not what they seem to be.

Again, the sky is dark and things become very still. Almost eerie! I look up to see some very bright stars flickering. Then I notice that they are moving. Not like stars, but like something else. The air get cool – a cold chill runs thru my bones. At this moment all the stars start moving and flying around. They seem to be dropping towards the earth. The sky is now littered with thousand of alien ships. All start attacking and mayhem is everywhere. Fighters, transport ships and smaller more nimble attack ships. Laser beams criss cross the sky and a full fledge air battle ensues.

On the ground our troops are racing across the field, but to no avail – tanks, personnel carriers, even ground-to-air missile launchers are all blasted into oblivion. In the sky our fighter planes are destined for more of the same. They are being blasted out of the sky! Fighter pilot parachuting out of their planes are being picked off like those helpless plastic duck lined up at the Coney island shooting gallery. Poor guys, everybody is dying -falling like flies. Life terminated even before they hit the ground.

The sky is blood red – splattered with our hopes of being saved. What a massacre!

For Jung the UFO symbology has to do with the ending of a period in history and the start of a new one. The ‘metamorphosis of the gods.’ Even according to the 2012 theorists we are at the end of the Mayan calendar & start of a new age. What life-changing transitions are occurring in my life??

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More Visitors

After Valmi’s Visit, I have had several more Visitation-type realities. I don’t label them dreams because they are so real – so vivid that I swear that they are real. So vivid & surreal that I need to write them down even though they occurred a while back.

A few years ago, my sister-in-law’s mother passed away. She also came by to say good bye. I was sleeping so therefore I think I need to label it a dream, but It was so vivid that to this day I swear that I was really awake.

Another occurrence was back in January, my mother-in-law-passed away. She was a wonderful caring person and a beautiful soul. This time it was midday – her presence was made clear to me when a quick gust passed in front of me. It had a scent of violets (Her name was Violeta). The strange part was that I was indoors in my house and there was no possible source for a gust to pass so quickly since all the doors were closed.

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