Category Archives: Inspirational

Being Thankful

In these days of economic downturn, job loss, disappearances of investments & funds, foreclosures & loss of faith, the common question I hear is “Why is this happening?” Well allow me to say that it is a useless question. And if I stay there then all I will be doing is wasting my days trying to “figure out why!” What is gone is gone!

The only really valuable question is:

“What Can I learn from it?”

Because this question then leads me to ask “What do I choose to do now?” Now this question is really empowering and worthwhile asking!!

The “why” question simply perplexes, leaves me disempowered – that I might never get out of – and hardly ever leaves me satisfied. It never gives a good answer just more why’s.

So don’t try to “figure it out.”
Do as Bob Newhart says and just

“Stop it!”

Stop wasting energy & just focus on what you now wish to create. There is now a clean slate in front of you where you can create a-n-y-t-h-i-n-g!!

Keep moving forward!!
There is nothing behind you – it is all gone & done! Focusing on how it worked or did not work won’t change a darn thing! The future is not guaranteed for any of us. Just focusing on what is possible right now is what best serves you. Being your highest thoughts & your highest self right now is all there really is.

So on this day of Thanksgiving, I am thankful for having you in my life; I am thankful for the life that God grants me; I am thankful for the freedoms we have; Thnakful for the ability to let go of the past & for the will to make life work – right now!- no matter what shows up!

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I am Thankful for Family

As a child I have always held the belief that ‘Family Comes First.’ I have always lived that way & even considered a ‘value’ worth having.

Little by little family members grow up, each sibling has a family of their own & they each have their own priorities. As the expression goes ‘that’s life!’ But somehow I still held on to the believe that family comes first. If I had a conflict in schedule between a family event or a personal event, the family event won – no questions asked. Of course over the years friends saw this & they went their seperate ways, loves I’ve had were envious & also went their way. Sitting alone I pondered if I’ve made the right decision, along came one of my sister to offer a shoulder to cry on & I knew I have.

Over the years and over the days. Weeks come & go like the wind. The winds of last few years have been tough. The economy, the bickering & the death of our mother has torn us apart. And my family, like the sand on the beach, some gather up in dunes & some wash away. My believe of ‘family comes first’ has withered away. Now all I can do is dream of days gone by.

But that dream and desire still exists in me. I long for a close knit family & maybe naively I still live like ‘family comes first’ even though that is not the way some of my siblings feel. So I hold on steadfast.

I remember when my father-in-law had a stroke, my wife & I took care of him. Rushing him to the hospital in the late-night hours due to an emergency, Mercy would go & I took care of the homefront – we worked as a team. I have had to change my daily plans to be there for my wife & her father. It was tough, but I did it – not as a sacrifice – but because family comes first. He lived with us, in our home on a hospital bed unable to move or communicate for seven months. We cared for him. It was not easy, but it was not a drudgery. This is what families do – be there for each other – right?

I am reminded of all the times that he came to my rescue, night or day. Anytime – I knew we could always count on him. He already knew that family comes first. So when it was time to care for him my thought is – It is the least I could do!

Even yesterday! My wife’s car broke down. I was not at home nor nearby to help her, but my brother & her best-cousin were there! They went no questions asked! No matter the distance or the inconvenience – They were there.

Even though it does not look like it used to, I still hold my believe that my family will believe in ‘family comes first.’ Yes my hope flickers like the message alert on my cell phone. Silently blinking. Patiently waiting to be noticed. But I still hold it as a value worth having.

On this day before Thanksgiving, I want to give thanks for my family. The way they are and the way that they are not – in my life.

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It is Well with My Soul…

When peace, like a river, naked celebrities attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea billows roll;
Whatever my lot, Thou has taught me to say,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.”
— Ho­ra­tio G. Spaf­ford

I can say that it is truly well with my soul and there really is ‘nothing wrong’ in the overall scheme of things.

Last night my aunt Olga passed away. She had been living 15 years on dialisys for a kidney transplant that never took. This had been affecting her all these years and her body just could not take it anymore. She suffered imensely thru those years and finally, her body was hit with a brain hemmorage. She refused to allow the doctors to operate and release the pressure. She refused any and all treatments and in doing so she sealed her fate. The next day she lapsed into a coma, from which she never awoke.

I just realized that the dreams I’ve been having about the women submitting to their death relates to my aunt! She has been suffering too long.

The graphic nature of my dreams was to express the pain & agony she must have been living with all those years. A prisoner to her own body, she needed to be free. Choosing to die is actually choosing to be free. She is now free from all the suffering and she is free and with God in peace.

Peace be with you, Tia…

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Hiding Out

“There, by sharing something, I realized that I’m not alone, that there is a lot of people that share with me the same preoccupations, the same ideas, the same ideals, and the same quest for a meaning for this life.”
— Paulo Coelho

It’s been a few months since I’ve written any posts here. Let me rephrase that – I have written them, they’re there, but they sit there unpublished – just waiting for me to push the ‘publish’ button. So now I have lots of ‘draft’ posts just sitting – in bold red – there waiting to be posted.

Waiting for what, I don’t know…

“You are selfish!” is what my friend Beatriz yelled at me when I shared with her what I have been doing. “Share yourself, anyway! Don’t hide behind the Vail…” is what she said as she nudged my shoulder.

So here I am sharing myself. The posts have mostly been about SM, and another visitation that culminated this week, when my aunt Olga passed away. The ‘Vail’ I was hiding behind is that they hit too close to home. I was afraid of sharing – didn’t even share it with my wife.

I have been afraid that these two deaths impacted me in a deep spiritual way! I don’t know what you believe about me seeing the spirits of people as they are leaving this realm, or if even you believe me. But that is what shows up around me!

I’ve always had it that it was weird & freaky. Well because when I was a kid, my friends thought it was freaky! This definition had stuck with me till now, obviously.

I still hear it once in a while, “He’s the weirdo who sees people die, stay away or he’ll make us die!”
But as they say… those are childhood stories, get over it….

But isn’t that why I started this blog – to share my experiences – no matter what my ‘little voice’ has to say about it.

And I also know that people need to get closure & the ‘spirits’ communicate thru me so that people left behind to deal with the loss, can get closure…

That’s my purpose, like it or not!

So for the next day or two I will be re-start ‘publishing’ my posts with their original dates. Sorry if the feed is out of order.

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I’m Human Too…


i found myself at the foot of the I-95 off ramp & I am debating giving a homeless man some money. I immediately thought he’s a wino, a bum – he’s going to waste it on whatever BS – I think. So I said God – no judgement. I will give just because.

So the test I gave God was : if the light turns red then I will give him money. If not – then oh well… So of course! the light turns red & I stop. I open the window & call this guy over to give him a buck.

He comes over with a big smile on his face & humbly says thank you. He immediately changed my mood. He also tells me “God bless you” and says that his sign got ruined.

“I need it to tell my story.” he adds.

So I asked him what is your story. “I am just a homeless man” he says “you could even call me a bum. I drink, yes I may be a wino, but I am also human. Your dollar will help me to stay alive another day. Thanks Lord.”

This was a sobering thought. He was repeating the words I was using to judge him & he reminded that God does listen & talks with us! Only we choose when we want to listen to Him.

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