Tag Archives: Musing

Mystic Journey

Last night I had a very interesting dream. The dream was very vivid, almost lucid and most definitely sequential. A lot like my Bella Mercedes dream, this is definitely an Epic-type Dream. The dream was spread out thru several different moments from which I felt like I woke up several times during the night. As I fell asleep again, the dream would just pickup where I left off last. Also the dream was accompanied by several songs.

The dream started with me riding my horse thru the Nordic countryside. I see myself as a lone horseman from Scandinavian folklore in a hurry to complete my journey from the end of a battle. Like Led Zeppelin’s song says: “Valhalla, I am coming…”


I felt lost in this forest for what seemed like months. Finally, out of the corner of my eye, I see light coming from a clearing in the distance. I make my way towards the clearing and the imagery, sounds and environment change.

Resting PlaceThe feeling I got in this part of the dream is a Celtic mysticism. The music running in my head still feels like a Led Zeppelin journey.


At the edge of the clearing I see a beautifully lush valley. I am no longer on horse back and I find myself walking. I am now wearing soft leather-laced sandals. Walking for what felt like hours, I must complete crossing this valley and I reach the edge of a river. I see myself dipping my feet into the river, stepping on moss covered rocks.

This time instead of running towards something, I find myself running away from something. There is a strong need to cross the river but I must rest for the night. Tomorrow will be another way.

The morning mist is laying very low, kissing the top of the trees. Dew dripping from the tips of soft, large leaves drips onto my forehead and wakes me. Softly the sun rises to light up the day.

Waking to a new dawn, I must complete my journey. Now I find myself to be a Greek soldier. The cold water of the river running between my legs is forceful and I struggle to keep my balance. “I must cross and must reach the other side.”

On the other side of the river is a marshy area. Foggy and slippery, this bog I must cross.

On the other side I will find my home. Finally I can rest.

To be continued…

This dream is full of imagery, mixed mythologies and dark undertones. It is gigantic in the story it is trying to tell me and so vivid that – awake – I can still see the images. In the first part I am a Nordic warrior on a journey to (what in the song is called) Valhalla. (“In Norse mythology, Valhalla is a majestic, enormous hall located in Asgard, ruled over by the god Odin. Chosen by Odin, those that die in combat travel to Valhalla upon death, led by the Valkyries.” – Wikipedia). At the end of battle I return, as a chosen one, to Valhalla. But being “lost in this forest” I feel like I do not belong there.

Therefore in the second part I travel to the end of the dark forest to the light of the “clearing” running away from death to the valley where my home is.

Waiting for the next day “There is a strong need to cross the river but I must rest for the night.” So why am I now a Greek soldier waiting for darkness to be over to cross the river? Well in Greek mythology – the transcending from one world to the other is reprensented by the crossing of the River Styx. By crossing back across the river I am trying to escape darkness and am now trying to embrace my previous life.

Now onto the next part… (see next post)

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You Got Peanut Butter on My Phone!

OK today is a shitty! no a sucky! not a great day! Have you ever had one of those days where nothing you do seems to go right! I just wanted to go to bed by midday.

So I went upstairs and started to prepare lunch before I take a nap. My 10 yr old son noticed I was pissed so he was helping by make my favorite sandwich – Peanut Butter & Jelly. I don’t know what it is about a PB&J; sandwich, but it usually puts a smile on my face…

Well, today it did just that… but in quite a different way!

My cell phone rings & I’m fumbling to answer it before my client is sent to VM – but Damm!!! – they make these cell phones so tiny – anyone could easily drop one.

And that is just what happened. I am holding the phone with my cheek against my shoulder – and of course I had to be nosey. I leaned forward to see him make my sandwich and my tiny, shiny, favorite Blackberry Pearl (can you hear my cries) just slides, as if greased with butter, right out of my shoulder.

Oh shit! doggy doo (my son’s listening – I can’t contribute to the corruption of a minor!). My first thought is “don’t fall on the PB! – no not face down at least!!!” As I am thinking those words, I see my black Pearl slide (matrix-like) down my favorite red, polyester Hawaiian shit; roll off my outstreched arm (hey in the movies they catch it in mid air, why not me!); and does a flip – you know like the end of a slide dropping into the pool.

As I am thinking “- no not face down at least!!!” that is exactly what the phone decides to do – a belly flop into the PB.

My son turns and faces me with a look of suprise & fun and says “Hey you got phone in my peanut butter!” I immediately start laughing and that commercial runs thru my head. I reply. “Hey you got peanut butter on my phone!”

I try to snatch it off the PB (Hey, the 5 second rule may apply – maybe it won’t stick), but as I turn it over I see the splatter of PB on the buttons. We both start laughing and the burden and the blues of this day just washed away.

Needless to say, throughout the day, everytime I answer the phone I get the perfume of PB and it makes me smile.

Have a great day and don’t let life get you down. Live and enjoy each day…

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Staying Positive in a Negative World

It is truly possible to be positive in a negative world. The way I see it, the world is what I see in it & what I make of it.

I find that when I start my morning routine listening to the morning rush hour report, I already start upset and rushed. This is because I find myself needing to rush out the door right now in order to ‘beat’ the traffic. Take my coffee on the run & well, I’ll read that report during the traffic jams so I don’t waste time. When I get to the office, I feel like a rat trying to find a spot up front in the parking lot. In the elevator lobby I rush to the elevator to ‘beat’ that crowd that is coming behind me. All this before 9am. So of course I am going to be upset, rushed & negative.

This negativity stays with me all day. When I get home, my son runs to sit on my lap & all I want to do is ‘veg-out’ before dinner. I have stressed myself raw and now just want to be numb to the world. Staring at the tv allows me to zone out for a while just to recover.

What I saw missing in myself was peacefulness & clarity. Everything is hurry up & wait.

So I tried an experiment. I start my day differently. I already know that the morning commute will take about 1hr plus 15 minutes for delays. In the morning I get up with time to sit at the table & talk with my wife. My son kisses me as he is leaving to school and I am listening to a soft tune in the background. I saw that during that week I got to work on time, read my report at the table & even made it to the elevator without a mad rush. The day goes by peacefully & my head stays focused. On the drive home I listen to an audio book & clear myself of the day’s troubles.

The most important thing is that when I get home my son still wants to sit on my lap. But now I find that I can actually play with him & enjoy my time with him. My head is clear & I can focus on him.

What I did differently was change my mindset. What I focus on is what shows up in my life. If I create tension, worries & rush and that is what occurs throughout the day. BUT when I created peacefulness and clarity for myself, the days became just that – peaceful & clear. Even finding a parking space was not stressful.

So the way to staying positive in a negative world, is not to focus on the negative, but on the positive. Live life like you want it to be & sure enough that is what will show up for you in this world.

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Your Local Pirate Supply Store

I love this idea! A Pirate Supply Store with an ulterior motive… A tutoring/ mentoring/ publishing center where kids can have one-on-one attention and find an outlet for their creativity & self-expression.

As Dave Eggers explains, one-on-one attention in getting homework done makes a happy kid. The kids have extra time to go home and enjoy time with their family, making for a happy family. Happy families create a happy community; several happy communities makes a happy world…

As Eggers jokes :

“The key to it all is homework…”

One-on-one attention & complete devotion to “turning on the switch” in the kids.


I have always wanted to have an architectural office that was more then just an office. Many architects have a basketball hoop to ignite the “creative spark” or a field trip to Disney to “get inspired.” These idea were great, and did caused a friendly, creative atmosphere, but was not enough for me.

My dream is to ignite the artistic spark in kids. Nowadays, public schools are eliminating art programs & the creative spark in kids is flickering. Many kids do not have art classes at school anymore. In my field, new job candidates have great technical abilities, but artistically many are lacking. Some of them cannot visualize a 3-D image in their head (this is basic training in architecture school) – they rely on the computer to do it. Nobody draws on the ‘board’ anymore.

To me this is sad! The best part of designing is putting pencil on paper & channeling the ideas stuck in my head thru the pencil, onto the paper. Then seeing those ideas become something real is powerful!

So this video got me thinking. What about a tutoring/art center AND an architect/ Artist studio that helps kids do their homework while teaching them art side-by-side with architects/ artists who are doing it right now! Imagine the amount of self-expression that can happen? That really would inspire me to go to work every morning!

As a kid I always visualized myself one day working side by side with great architects like Frank Lloyd Wright, or artists like Picasso. “One day I will do that!” And I was lucky enough to sit with Robert Venturi for a few hours.

Well, how about that day being real RIGHT now for a kid.

Eggers, in his TED wish says… “The kids need you.. take the lead in partnering with the schools… Some kids just plain do not know how good they are… you can tell them. Shine that light on them – one human interaction at a time.”

His website OnceUponASchool.org challenges us to shine that light on the kids in our own community.

The average students knows his teacher has to help with his schoolwork, and he knows his parents have to help. But there’s something very new and transformative about meeting a member of the community — a professional journalist, a radio disc jockey, a graduate student, an advertising copywriter, a software developer, a retired lawyer — and have that person give them 2-3 hours of undivided attention. Almost without exception, student achievement and understanding leaps when they are given this concentrated one-on-one attention.”

Eggers’ wish is for the community to create & submit 1,000 ideas & projects that support the kids in their local public schools.

But the way I see it, he is really challenging us to live our dreams & to help kids live their dreams through “transformational interactions.”

What is your dream…

Share it with the world.

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Weddings, Funerals & Baptisms

I was reading Redondowriter’s blog today. She said something that struck me!

Both my husband and I were extremely active in this parish until we separated in 1984. In 1987 I moved and only go back now for weddings, funerals and baptisms. The years fell away…”

Her post was about spirituality and faith. I don’t know why this stuck so deeply, they are only words expressing a moment in time. But maybe because it seems to be an impactful moment in her life, that it became impactful for me. So I started to look at it a little deeper. I instantly got a flashback – sort of a stream of consciousness started to flow thru me.

When I was growing up my father was very religion-oriented. Any activity we did was church related or had to do with religion. I remember the one time he would let us go to the movies. Very unusual – he was even excited about a movie opening. It was in the early 70’s, at the re-release of The Ten Commandments. He was so excited! We got to the movie theater early, waited in line for hours and this was on a Friday night – after sunset, no less.

What’s the point? Her post (not necessarily what she was referring to – but the mere fact that it was posted for me to read) was a catalyst for a moment of clarity in my life. That is, that because of conditions of my life, I’ve used my dad’s commitment to religion to separate myself from the church. Allowed it not to be a part of me anymore – only returning for – weddings, funerals & baptisms…

Every day I observe someone, some situation, some place and I[‘m]comforted, connected. I’ve had a spring resurgence of sacred ordinary.”

I am experiencing that spring resurgence. My spirituality keeps calling me. I’ve come to the realization that I’m connected to a stream of consciousness (God) that keeps calling – only I’ve not been listening. The message is clear. It is the return to the truth of life; to the simple cycle that we are connected to:

weddings, funerals & baptisms…
Life, death & rebirth

I too continue to grow-up when it comes to my faith.

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