Tag Archives: MP3

Mystic Journey

Last night I had a very interesting dream. The dream was very vivid, almost lucid and most definitely sequential. A lot like my Bella Mercedes dream, this is definitely an Epic-type Dream. The dream was spread out thru several different moments from which I felt like I woke up several times during the night. As I fell asleep again, the dream would just pickup where I left off last. Also the dream was accompanied by several songs.

The dream started with me riding my horse thru the Nordic countryside. I see myself as a lone horseman from Scandinavian folklore in a hurry to complete my journey from the end of a battle. Like Led Zeppelin’s song says: “Valhalla, I am coming…”

(MP3)

I felt lost in this forest for what seemed like months. Finally, out of the corner of my eye, I see light coming from a clearing in the distance. I make my way towards the clearing and the imagery, sounds and environment change.

Resting PlaceThe feeling I got in this part of the dream is a Celtic mysticism. The music running in my head still feels like a Led Zeppelin journey.

(MP3)

At the edge of the clearing I see a beautifully lush valley. I am no longer on horse back and I find myself walking. I am now wearing soft leather-laced sandals. Walking for what felt like hours, I must complete crossing this valley and I reach the edge of a river. I see myself dipping my feet into the river, stepping on moss covered rocks.

This time instead of running towards something, I find myself running away from something. There is a strong need to cross the river but I must rest for the night. Tomorrow will be another way.

The morning mist is laying very low, kissing the top of the trees. Dew dripping from the tips of soft, large leaves drips onto my forehead and wakes me. Softly the sun rises to light up the day.

Waking to a new dawn, I must complete my journey. Now I find myself to be a Greek soldier. The cold water of the river running between my legs is forceful and I struggle to keep my balance. “I must cross and must reach the other side.”

On the other side of the river is a marshy area. Foggy and slippery, this bog I must cross.

On the other side I will find my home. Finally I can rest.

To be continued…


This dream is full of imagery, mixed mythologies and dark undertones. It is gigantic in the story it is trying to tell me and so vivid that – awake – I can still see the images. In the first part I am a Nordic warrior on a journey to (what in the song is called) Valhalla. (“In Norse mythology, Valhalla is a majestic, enormous hall located in Asgard, ruled over by the god Odin. Chosen by Odin, those that die in combat travel to Valhalla upon death, led by the Valkyries.” – Wikipedia). At the end of battle I return, as a chosen one, to Valhalla. But being “lost in this forest” I feel like I do not belong there.

Therefore in the second part I travel to the end of the dark forest to the light of the “clearing” running away from death to the valley where my home is.

Waiting for the next day “There is a strong need to cross the river but I must rest for the night.” So why am I now a Greek soldier waiting for darkness to be over to cross the river? Well in Greek mythology – the transcending from one world to the other is reprensented by the crossing of the River Styx. By crossing back across the river I am trying to escape darkness and am now trying to embrace my previous life.

Now onto the next part… (see next post)

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Shower the People You Love with Love

It has been a few months since I’ve written on this blog. See in August my mother passed away. I miss her a lot and I’m always thinking about her. But this morning I woke up with this song in my head. I don’t know why but I guess it has something to do with how my relationship with my sisters has been lately.

Don’t get me wrong! It is not that its bad! only disconnected. We don’t talk much except the superficial “hi, how are the kids” kinda calls. Since my mother’s death, we have not been as close as it used to be. I guess I miss how we were. My sisters & I are not as connected. I guess each one of us is dealing with her death in our own ways. But deep in my heart, I fear that we will never have that again. She was the matriarch of our family and she was the force that kept us together. We got together to visit with our mother. She always travelled back & forth between Ecuador & here. She would stay for a couple of months & then go back. She did this a few times a year.

Since she left we don’t really get together much anymore. So accepting the reality that things may never be the way they were, is hard.

James Taylor’s – Shower the People You Love with Love inspires me to create unity in my family ANYWAY!! No matter what the circumstance may look like.

Just taking it on – no reasons or justifications – just because I want it to exist!!

So I share this song:


(M3u) video & lyrics so that you can be inspired as well.

“You can play the game and you can act out the part
Though you know it wasn’t written for you
But tell me, how can you stand there with your broken heart
Ashamed of playing the fool
One thing can lead to another; it doesn’t take any sacrifice
Oh, father and mother,and sister and brother
if it feels nice, don’t think twice (yes)

Shower the people you love with love
Show them the way that you feel
Things are gonna be just fine if you only will(do as i say, yeah)
Shower the people you love with love
Show them the way that you feel
Things are gonna be much better if you only will

You can run but you cannot hide
This is widely known
And what you plan to do with your foolish pride
When you’re all by yourself alone
Once you tell somebody the way that you feel
You can feel it beginning to ease
I think it’s true what they say about the squeaky wheel
Always getting the grease.

Better to shower the people you love with love
(Yes and) show them the way that you feel
(I know) Things are gonna be just fine if you only will
(what I’d like to do to you)
Shower the people you love with love
Show them the way you feel
Things are gonna be much better if you only will

Shower the people you love with love
Show them the way that you feel

They say in every life
They say the rain must fall
Just like the pouring rain
Make it rain
Make it rain
Love, celebrity nude love, love is sunshine oh
Make it rain
Love, love, love is sunshine yeah
Everybody, everybody, everybody, everybody.”

– James Taylor

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Poop Today

[googlevideo=http://video.google.com/googleplayer.swf?videoUrl=http%3A%2F%2Fvp.video.google.com%2Fvideodownload%3Fversion%3D0%26secureurl%3DgAAAAN2A4PTFETXeiGqb_c72UO8RvZXqqaUAszzqWNgv0OHnSBwBx-krCZbBYjWjH3_PwcQS1i3I55Bv3OrKGgyhcFcxSHD5JD8fbvFV1ppA0MMEczEiOEmbzFyjlhuM1jwVAuRjEucom8Z7VSSTPaD4fEEUkNRQ_7lZ5KUi1sJMpMe9mfKl7FSQgX7ePmshCNURzA%26sigh%3D4XBzP8DIdVtMbDiFo_ywWMpmaL4%26begin%3D0%26len%3D48114&thumbnailUrl=http%3A%2F%2Fvideo.google.com%2FThumbnailServer%3Fcontentid%3Df48e2f1559022357%26second%3D5%26itag%3Dw320%26urlcreated%3D1137734702%26sigh%3DL4_D-iI7UdUtQ1x5qnyerOVPWXc&playerId=-4945563667086098025&playerMode=embedded]
Been goofing off this afternoon. Not much happening in the office today. It’s close to the end of the day & I am getting ready to go to my SELP seminar & work on my Descansos project. Spent the last couple hours googling for goofy stuff.

Hey, but it was not a total waste of time – Check out this funny video – Poop Today & Rodney Carrington’s Letter to My Penis (MP3).

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Peaceful Resignation

(Visitation #6)

Death is only a horizon, and a horizon is only the limit of our sight. Open our eyes to see more clearly…”

— William Penn

For the past 4-5 days I have been feeling very uneasy. A feeling of giving up & no longer trying – a sense of “peaceful resignation.” Don’t get me wrong, this is not me talking – at least not my usual self. I don’t give up or give in easily. I was thinking of death but not in the way you may be thinking of it! My wife’s uncle has been sick for a few days with stomach aches. He is 93 yrs old & I got the sense of peaceful resignation from him. All I could think off was avoiding the daily grind.

A sense of submission & withdrawal is overwhelming me. Work was the only thing that could occupy my mind with other things, but I did not want to be there. My stomach was very uneasy & even upset. I was constantly running to the bathroom today. It hurt not with typical stomach pains but from almost a sense of withdrawal. The feeling was all over me. Every thought & every sound. The music I listened to for the past 4 days has a melancholic tone. I was listening to the Kill Bill Vol. 1 soundtrack. Songs like The Lonely Shepherd (MP3) & Nancy Sinatra’ Bang Bang (MP3). These songs have a mellow sound and bring back the past (but not my past). I even had a fascination with
(MP3)

Arika Yamaoka’s “Room of Angel” (MP3) – This song is from the Silent Hill 4 game & it has some dark undertones & black lyrics – “here’s a lullaby to close your eyes – goodbye…” (No – the lyrics are not indicative of the person, just music that I was drawn to).

Even when I did not have the music on, this song occupied my mind.

The theme of resignation occupies my mind over & over again. Wednesday night we found out that my wife’s uncle is diagnosed with cancer in the stomach & a blocked intestine and needs to be operated. I had a sinking feeling in my stomach & a sense of emptiness. A spiritual emptiness – like he was no longer there. Tonight we visited him again & I got a peaceful sense from him. He was in little pain & not awake, but I did feel his spirit. He was surrounded with the love of his family.

Tonight while sleeping I dreamt of him. Not his physical self but more his way of being. It was a nice feeling of peace, playfulness, serenity & love. That is who he is. We were two white puffy clouds floating in the sky. We were swirling together, playing and rejoicing life. The play felt like it had been going on for a lifetime, when all of a sudden his cloud pulled away from me and swished away forever.

-Bye-

Suddenly, at that very moment I woke up. It was 4am I awoke out of breath gasping for air. I felt like I was taking my last breath & there was no more air for me to breathe. I felt something leaving my soul & it took my breath with it. It took me a few minutes to get my breath back. My wife was helping me as I tried to explain to her my dream. “Why do you think that was him?” she asked me. I did not get a chance to answer.

It is now 4:30am and as I was trying to catch my breath, the phone rings! As my wife answer the phone, she turns around to look at me. “No way!” I think to myself. With that said. She tells me that it’s her cousin. “The hospital called. He has just passed away.” was all she said & all she needed to say – as I already knew. My wife gets ready & leaves for the hospital & I stay behind with our son, who is sleeping.

I could not fall back to sleep but am exhausted. This visitation really left me drained! It is now 6:30 am & I am listening to Arika Yamaoka’s “Room of Angel” (MP3) song as I type this. I no longer feel pain; that sense of resignation nor a submissive feeling of loss. As my stomach frees itself of anxiety, I begin to feel peace, playfulness & love as it fills my very existence.

It is who he was! Rest in peace, Rojelio

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