Original Date : August 12, 1997)
Usually I cannot recall any of my dreams, except last night I remembered one.
I dreamt that I was confined to a wheelchair and I remember the feeling of helplessness. It was the most pitiful situation, but I do remember being too self-consumed with my situation. All I think about and all I talk about is my pain and my anger for being in this chair. I am soooo wrapped in self-pity that I could not focus of the face of the woman who was doing everything for me. She was helping me around and felt to be very familiar, but I could not make out a face because of my inability to see beyond my problems. She was very warm, helpful, and most of all I got the feeling that she cared more about helping me than her own needs. Lots like Mercy, but I could not feel her presence. I took her for granted and never cared how she was doing – and all she would do or say were words of support and concern for me. Such a selfless person in sharp contrast to a self-involved me.
Ok, now how do I interprete this one! My son is due to be born in 2 months; my job is doing ok, but I cannot wait till I get out of work to get on with my life; I want this I want that… where’s my wife?? I guess I should see how she is doing, bye.