This dream starts with me trying to get from Ft. Lauderdale to W.Palm Beach. I have Marcelo with me and I feel a strong sense of urgency to complete the trip. We start off in a truck driving up I-95. The voyage seems to be fraught with problems.
The truck starts to breakdown & I get runned off I-95 into a ghetto kind of neighborhood. I get back on the highway & then the truck turns into a car as we speed up I-95. The car gets a flat & I need to get off the highway to get gas as well. At the rest stop I go into the gas station & everything seems out of place. It looks very Russian. The lady behind the counter looks like a rustic Eastern-European ‘Helga’ stereotypical character. I walk up to the refrigerator & pull out a Pepsi. I can only tell it’s a Pepsi from the logo because the words are in Slavic on one side & Arabic on the other side of the bottle. I pay for my drink & get back into the car.
We start driving up I-95 again and feel like we have been driving for hours literally fighting the traffic. The traffic is very tough & I am fighting my way thru traffic. Then all of a sudden the car turns into a tricycle. I am pedaling as fast as I can & am keeping up with the cars, but feel as I am not getting anywhere. At this point I’m feeling helpless & the goal seems far out of my reach.
I decide to call Mercy to pick us up. She arrives and meets us back at the same rest stop. Again I go inside. The people inside are staring at me. Things feel strange. I step outside & I see Mercy carrying Marcelo on her arms. She is passing him along to a man, whom I’ve never seen before. He puts Marcelo into a white Chevy Monte Carlo. I get very anxious & run to get Marcelo out of the car. I push the man out of the way & I get Marcelo out. I am horrified to see that Marcelo has been dead & shrink wrapped into an air tight bag. I scream at the horror & try to get him out.
It is very strange to see a body dehydrated. I carry him inside the store crying and screaming for help. The people in the line ignore my pleas for help. I call to the lady at the counter to call 911 and she ignores me. The last lady in line calls out to her down syndrome older child. She tells him not to look at us. “It’s not polite to stare.”
What a horrible feeling of helplessness! I wake up from my dream crying & feeling that there is nothing I can do to improve my situation.
Dreams are supposed to be a subconscious reflection of your daily life. So with this in mind & I will try to analyze the dream. The sense of urgency & not being able to reach a destination might be due to a feeling of frustration with my career. The feeling of helplessness & hopelessness might be an indication of what I have been feeling lately. I have two houses to design & I have no desire to do so. I do not have any inspiration or desire to design them. Now to psycho-analyze myself, I guess that my indecision & inactivity is, in my dream, affecting my relationship with my family & I am feeling, sub-consciously, that if I do not fulfill my goal I will not be able to care for nor provide for my family.
The vehicles that I am using are not getting me where I want to be. Each one gets progressively smaller and slower. This maybe that I am depending on them to do for me what I need to do myself. I even try o get Mercy to “do it” for me. The part where Mercy passes Marcelo off to the stranger feels like Mercy is working against me. In the dream she is not contributing to accomplishing my goals. Marcelo is dehydrated because I have failed to provide for him.