Imagine every morning waking up and feeling
“I don’t want to live another day without my child in my life.”<\/p>\n
Feeling that on the side of the highway
is where my child left this world.
Alone and hurt,
you left this life to live anew –
free of pain and sorrow.<\/p>\n
But waking up, I see your empty bed
and I am preparing your clothes in
boxes ready to go. I drive to work
and see your memorial on the
side of the road and the tears come.<\/p>\n
Every morning I feel the rage and anger for
that careless driver who took
your life from me.<\/p>\n
Everyday I feel your absence.<\/p>\n
But each morning I awake again
and continue to live this life
because I know I must.
God does have bigger plans for me.<\/p>\n
I wake up and continue my life because
I don’t want yours to be forgotten.
I need to let the world know that you
are a person of significance. <\/p>\n
That you mattered – to me!<\/p>\n
I need to remember, I need to live!
To be free and laugh again.
I am the only one that can set me free!
And for that I need to learn to forgive.<\/p>\n
Forgive them, forgive you, forgive me.<\/p>\n
This is another dream\/visitation that I experienced fully awake. The feelings I got were feelings I have never felt before, but feel them I did. These words came to me early in the morning. I awoke and sat down with the urge to write. These words are not mine and the feelings expressed are not my feelings. I am sobbing with such pain and sorrow as I write these words. The pain and suffering that these words express is running all my emotions and are mine to feel. I am feeling the pain of a parent who has lost a child – though I have not. <\/p>\n
At first I reasoned them to be hollow because I have not lost a child so how can I be writing in first person. I even tried to rewrite them from a stranger’s perspective & my computer would not have it. So I accepted what was coming to me. Secondly a thought entered my mind for a moment. I always have these premonitions in dreams – so could this be of a future day in my life?? NO not my son!!!! The emotions became horrifying for a second and the pain and sorrow became mine. <\/p>\n
Then I got present to where these words were coming from. These words were meant for someone – I don’t know who – to read & not for me to keep them in my scrapbook. So I would like to share them with you. I know that I don’t know what it is like to lose a child – so maybe these words are really hollow, but I think I got a stranger’s glimpse into what a parent might be going thru.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"