It is Well with My Soul…

When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea billows roll;
Whatever my lot, Thou has taught me to say,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.”
— Ho­ra­tio G. Spaf­ford

I can say that it is truly well with my soul and there really is ‘nothing wrong’ in the overall scheme of things.

Last night my aunt Olga passed away. She had been living 15 years on dialisys for a kidney transplant that never took. This had been affecting her all these years and her body just could not take it anymore. She suffered imensely thru those years and finally, her body was hit with a brain hemmorage. She refused to allow the doctors to operate and release the pressure. She refused any and all treatments and in doing so she sealed her fate. The next day she lapsed into a coma, from which she never awoke.

I just realized that the dreams I’ve been having about the women submitting to their death relates to my aunt! She has been suffering too long.

The graphic nature of my dreams was to express the pain & agony she must have been living with all those years. A prisoner to her own body, she needed to be free. Choosing to die is actually choosing to be free. She is now free from all the suffering and she is free and with God in peace.

Peace be with you, Tia…

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Hiding Out

“There, by sharing something, I realized that I’m not alone, that there is a lot of people that share with me the same preoccupations, the same ideas, the same ideals, and the same quest for a meaning for this life.”
— Paulo Coelho

It’s been a few months since I’ve written any posts here. Let me rephrase that – I have written them, they’re there, but they sit there unpublished – just waiting for me to push the ‘publish’ button. So now I have lots of ‘draft’ posts just sitting – in bold red – there waiting to be posted.

Waiting for what, I don’t know…

“You are selfish!” is what my friend Beatriz yelled at me when I shared with her what I have been doing. “Share yourself, anyway! Don’t hide behind the Vail…” is what she said as she nudged my shoulder.

So here I am sharing myself. The posts have mostly been about SM, and another visitation that culminated this week, when my aunt Olga passed away. The ‘Vail’ I was hiding behind is that they hit too close to home. I was afraid of sharing – didn’t even share it with my wife.

I have been afraid that these two deaths impacted me in a deep spiritual way! I don’t know what you believe about me seeing the spirits of people as they are leaving this realm, or if even you believe me. But that is what shows up around me!

I’ve always had it that it was weird & freaky. Well because when I was a kid, my friends thought it was freaky! This definition had stuck with me till now, obviously.

I still hear it once in a while, “He’s the weirdo who sees people die, stay away or he’ll make us die!”
But as they say… those are childhood stories, get over it….

But isn’t that why I started this blog – to share my experiences – no matter what my ‘little voice’ has to say about it.

And I also know that people need to get closure & the ‘spirits’ communicate thru me so that people left behind to deal with the loss, can get closure…

That’s my purpose, like it or not!

So for the next day or two I will be re-start ‘publishing’ my posts with their original dates. Sorry if the feed is out of order.

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I’m Human Too…


i found myself at the foot of the I-95 off ramp & I am debating giving a homeless man some money. I immediately thought he’s a wino, a bum – he’s going to waste it on whatever BS – I think. So I said God – no judgement. I will give just because.

So the test I gave God was : if the light turns red then I will give him money. If not – then oh well… So of course! the light turns red & I stop. I celebrity nudes open the window & call this guy over to give him a buck.

He comes over with a big smile on his face & humbly says thank you. He immediately changed my mood. He also tells me “God bless you” and says that his sign got ruined.

“I need it to tell my story.” he adds.

So I asked him what is your story. “I am just a homeless man” he says “you could even call me a bum. I drink, yes I may be a wino, but I am also human. Your dollar will help me to stay alive another day. Thanks Lord.”

This was a sobering thought. He was repeating the words I was using to judge him & he reminded that God does listen & talks with us! Only we choose when we want to listen to Him.

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Be Still & All Will Be Revealed

Be still, and know that I am God!…”
— Psalm 46:10

It is in the stillness that all is revealed.

Wow, last night was another crazy dream night. The theme from the previous night is the same (women surrendering themselves to their demise) but this time it was more graphic and in black and white.

In this dream, three women approach three stalls and surrender themselves to the execution. each one pulls up the skirt just above the knee and kneels down. On her knees, she crawls into the stall (scraping her knees) to be beheaded. Two of them are way inside the stall and I am spared seeing the beheading. But the third is half-way out and I get a full view of the brutality of a failed beheading.

Now I gotta warn you, this section is where it gets quite graphic! so I have hidden this paragraph. click to expand & read this…

After witnessing that level of brutality, I must call on God’s light to enter my heart and provide clarity. This is where “be still” fits in perfectly. In the mist of the graphic nature, there is a message. I am upset with myself for having these dreams. Yes, they are graphic! I sometimes even question the morbid sense of the dream. So this is where I need to draw on my inner strength and not go into the ‘make wrong’ aspect.

I can’t “be still” if I’m fretting about or questioning whether this is right or wrong – based on my earthly morals & convictions. I must trust and be humble so that I would be usable in His hand – after all, this isn’t for me but for His purpose.

I just simply need to “be still.” There is a message yet to be revealed.

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All in Due Time…

Last night & the night before, I had some very strange dreams. These dreams were of women – mostly late middle-age women – all surrendering themselves in different ways. One was physically abused to her death & never challenged her abuse. Another stretched out her neck into the noose to be executed. Any way they all are giving in to their sentence. They were all taken away to their death sentence, but none resisted.

The other thing that was strange is that they were all asking for it – almost demanding to be killed. I don’t mean asking for it – as if they were evil kind-of-way, but it seemed as if they could not bear the conditions of their lives and asked for & welcomed the end.

The other overwhelming feeling I get is that in releasing their soul from their physicality, they are doing an act of compassion. Compassion of what – for who – I do not know. I don’t quite understand this feeling but it’s almost as if their are sacrificing themselves for the betterment of others.

Like I say, I don’t quite understand this one nor am I going to dwell in needing to understand it. I will know when the time comes.

They mostly followed orders and even gave up what they needed, for others to have. This occurred over several dreams, across several days, thru out many lives. I don’t know what they are about or what they are supposed to mean.

But they had several things in common:

  • All the women were late, middle-age – too young to die.
  • All are surrendering & giving in to the inevitable.
  • They never complained nor even cried out in pain.
  • They all welcomed their end – an act of release.
  • They gave themselves for others – a selfless act.

But the most impactful part was that they all felt, to me, to be accepting of the fact that they are here due to their own actions. What they did has caused them to be here going thru what they are going thru. They are paying the price for letting their past be the way it was.

The question I am asking myself now – is this a prelude to another visitation? It seems to have the hallmark signs of one, but who do I know that is sick and ready to go? Who is the person leaving and letting me know that their time has come?

So I thank God for the clarity in seeing the sign and for the gift this is. I even thank him for not giving me the foresight to know who the person is, because if I knew (& this turned out to be someone close to me) then I may be too swept up in emotions to see the message clearly.

Now on to the next step. Waiting to see what the message is. Not to rush it, because the next step is the reveal of who is going to pass.

All in due time…

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