Vivid Dreamscapes

Where would I be
without you?

Like a vagabond at the
edge of the shore,
I would be searching
for my guiding light.

Without your love
I would be a lost bird
dying by the side
of the road.

Without you,
how can I say
I am complete.
How can I say
that I am me.

“From our orbital vantage point, we observe an Earth without borders, full of peace, beauty and magnificence. And we pray that Humanity as a whole can IMAGINE a borderless world, as we see it, and strive to live as one in Peace.”
- William McCool
(Astronaut – died on February 1, 2003 over the southern United States when Space Shuttle Columbia and her crew perished during entry.)

McCool had requested John Lennon’s song Imagine to be his ‘space song.’ His vision of what the world could be is inspiring.

I can only IMAGINE what he saw. A tremendous sense of power! Mixed with the realization that we are only specks of dust in the wind. Yes I can fathom how that view of our world could inspire him.

This image is a space image over Turkey. Looking at it I can visualize humanity as one borderless world.

I can picture a world where our country is no longer wrapped up by its own limited borders. I can imagine the self-created boundaries disappearing – no longer seperating us. No longer keeping us away from the others. All of a sudden I can picture an Indian in the Amazon jungle that much closer to me. I can visualize that starving child in Ethiopia as close as my own son.

All humans living as one. Yes, I can imagine that! Maybe one day I will be present to that level of magnificence.

On the fringe is where life lives.
Sitting in the middle,
on the fence, life passes us by.

In the middle
we survey the world around us.
We look around and see
life going by.
We can spend all our existence
sitting on the fence without
really living life.

Ahh! But on the edge
life is really lived.
Here we can see the
beginning and the end.
Standing at the Rock of Gibralter
we can feel the Alpha & the Omega.

Here we can see the boundary
of our earth only because
of the darkness of space.
It’s all black & white.

Only in the darkness of space
can we define the radiance
of the all mighty sun.

Only because a flower pops up from
the ground can we visualize
life in a deserted world.

So too by defining this edge
can we really see our humanity.
We can only define love
by its opposite – hatred.

Only when love starts can we really say
that hatred has ended.
Only peace can stop war dead in its track.
Only an “I’m sorry” can ease the
pain created by negative words.

Your words are your power
only on the edge can you really
distinguish the brilliance
of your word.

Give your words meaning.
Give them power & significance
Give yourself integrity.

“Say what you mean and mean what you say”
- Gen. George S. Patton, Jr.

With the window now opened
I stand here exposed.
Who am I
Who do I perceive me to be.

Becoming aware that you are there.
I hurry outside to the sunlit street.
So as not to be the focus of your gaze.

I walk down to the playground to
blend in – to disappear – to forget.

My mind rehashes the day’s events…
Can my mother be right? Or is it
my younger sister who is right?
Or could it be that my older sister
deserves the Right to be right.

Where does the truth lie?
On what side of my pristine, white
picket fence shall I stand?
Who should I talk to
to show them the way?

As I walk the streets of my life,
I reach an intersection.
Strong crosswinds catch me off guard.
Disoriented, I spin to keep my balance again
Or… maybe for the first time.
I’m trying to stay in control & not let
the situation control me.

I take a breather
& escape into a Blockbuster.
In the background I hear Al Pacino’s quote
“Every time I try to get out,
they pulling me back in!”

Should I walk away from this??
But what if I don’t fix things?
will my sisters still love each other?
Will they still be there for me
when the sun sets in the west?

Now at the playground, I see myself
hanging on to the spinning wheel game.
I spin & spin looking at the sun
whirling around – loosing my ground.
Afraid to let go, I hang for dear life
afraid of what could happen
if I do let go.

I hear Pacino over & over again
Ringing in my head.
I can no longer remain the “fix-it-man”
I need to stop this wheel
so I can let go.

I need to let my family
be what it needs to be.

A memory that strikes me when writing this, was when my parents divorced.
I felt abandoned. I felt lost. I realize now that the character I have allowed to control my life is the “fix-it-man.”
I’ve been doing this because I was afraid that if I stopped trying to make things right – I would lose my mother & sisters as well. I know that this is just a perception, but one that has been controlling my life.

What I visualized was the day I am at my deathbed. Which sister would be there by my side & which one would stay away just to avoid the other. It’s funny, we see it all the time in sitcoms & in tv dramas. Brothers and sisters who have not spoken to each other in many, many years – all because one said something the other did not agree with. This is not funny nor dramatic – it is sad. I have seem many old men & women, in the nursing homes, die all alone just because of this issue.

No! it is not acceptable! I hereby take a stand for powerful listening, love and family.