I came across some papers from 1992 & found some quotes from Steven Wright:
I installed a skylight in my apartment…The people who live above me are furious!
I went to a restaurant that serves “breakfast at any time”. So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.
When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, “Did you sleep good?” I said, “No, I made a few mistakes.”
In my house there’s this light switch that doesn’t do anything. Every so often I would flick it on and off just to check. Yesterday, I got a call from a woman in Germany. She said, “Cut it out.”
— Steven Wright